Well, I thought things from yesterday were smoothed over. However, H displayed his resentment of his "not being allowed to be around Cafe Woman" today. He asked me if I wanted to get a sandwich for lunch. I told him, "Sure, just give me a minute. Where do you want to eat?" He relied, "At (cafe down the street), I guess. <B>THEN</B> he left, saying, <B>"I can't eat at (Cafe Woman's restaurant), or I'd go there."</B> OUCH!!!!<P>Well, I was ready by that time, so I left right behind him. We ended up grabbing sandwiches from the deli at the local convenience store.<P>But that remark, along with yesterdays sudden burst of anger and hatefullness really put a damper on my day.<P>I was so POd that I went out to the bar for a while. I even chit-chatted with Cafe Woman for a hile. I made a couple of comments which seemed to hit home with her.<P>I did find out that she and her BF of the past year have parted company.<P>So...........do you suppose that my H's reverting back to his mean and hateful set because he may have heard tha Cafe <BR>Womam is now "available"><P>Gotta keep my eyes and ears open.

keep your eyes and ears open, but also keep your arms open! i am a betrayer too and the ONLY reason that i strayed is that i did not get my intimate needs met at home ( we are talking 4 times in 3 years resulting in 2 kids) the only reason that i was unfaithful is because i craved love and affection and the other woman gave me what i needed no emotional connection just physical. love your husband. lavish him with kisses and he wont think of another. ( at least i wouldnt) <BR>riemer

Hi Sweetpea -<P>It is always a good idea to keep your eyes and ears open....as long as that doesn't consume you.<P>I agree with arf....keep the relationship headed in a positive direction and if you see that negativity is coming out due to your thoughts...then it is time to get a hold of yourself and don't give OW such importance!!! <P>Don't forget that Honesty is essential, both from him and from you....keep to that - but do it with love and not accusation.<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba

hi sweetpea, yes, get hold of yourself girl!! Absolutely. You have been doing great, so stay on track.<BR>Maybe he heard she was available, maybe he has hemorrhoids? Whatever it is keep your eyes wide open and proceed as you have been.<BR>If he ruffles you, stay on plan A, and come over here to vent.<BR>You have done so remarkably well with cafe woman, so would keep that up if you can stomach it! We have all seen you have a cast iron gut, so stay focused, stay on track!! Ignore the comments and have a bottle of nice wine together.

Sweetpea,<P>Well - it seems he at least had some sort of an emotional affair with the cafe woman.... And he isn't admitting that this is an affair to you - and isn't realizing that the same efforts to get over an affair with physical sex is the same tactics needed to get over an inappropriate emotional attachment (affair). <P>Maybe if you could somehow start some sort of discussion with him about different types of relationships that threaten the "peace" in your marriage, he can start to see things in a different light - and get on board - so to speak.<P>If that isn't possible, then keep your eyes and ears open - but don't lay on too much guilt, it doesn't seem to work with your man.<P>TNT

Sweetpea- It's funny isn't it? How much we fight the urge to be suspicious all the time. I don't want to suspect anything about my H, just to trust in him like I used to. The problem is that I can't let go of that suspicious attitude about little things at times! I'm praying on it! <P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<P>