I just wondered if any of you have gone away on a marriage encounters weekend before,hubby and i are going this friday until sunday night and i have no idea what to expect from it at all.I am having the time from hell going through withdrawl and then contacting otherman although i know i shouldn't be but can't seem to help myself....i never thought my life would be like this....hubby is a great guy but i felt so lonely last 5 years and am glad i told him years ago or he would blame this all on me.....well thats alll for now i have other posts in here if you are not familiar with me please look them up..looking forward to hearing replies.thanx in advance.......;-)

chatwithu35,<P>I think I tried posting this once before but it failed. My W and I went (about 6 years ago.) It was a very good experience. The basic idea is that you learn communications techniques. You do this by doing a lot of what is called "journaling" or "dialoguing"... basically practicing thoughtful love letters to each other.<P>Unfortunately for me... my W was expecting that this would solve <B>all</B> of our problems... and because it was not a "quick fix"... she gave up on it after 2 months. <P>If you go in and realize the limits of what can be done with communication... and don't have pie in the sky expectations... you'll both enjoy the experience... and if you can go on with the "dialoguing" for a much longer time... you will start to spend more time on you and less on the OM. This "dialoguing" is not meant to be a "problem solving" tool... just a communications tool... (use it as such)<P>Again, it is not a saving action to a failing marriage... but a very good tool for a building marriage. By making your efforts really honest... <B>really honest</B> you could start into the satisfying of each of your emotional needs... but please don't start dialoguing on "emotional needs" right away... You will kill your "dialoguing".<P>I pray for your enjoyment of the weekend... <BR>It was very enjoyable for me and my W at the time... <BR>Unfortunately... things aren't working out quite yet between her and me... <P>Be prepared to do alot of writing... I mean alot! <P>Jim

Chat-I was told that Marriage Encounter wasn't the right experience to have when the marriage was in danger, instead they want you to do a weekend in "Retrouvoulle" (I don't know if the spelling is correct it's pronounced RET-TRO Vow) I was told this was better for marriages that are in trouble and will help you more, marriage encounter is for people whose marriage is in good shape but fee like their not growing, like stifled. Either way, God Bless!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<P>

Chat,<P>My wife and I attended a marriage encounter weekend about 2 months after finding out about her affair. As Chick mentioned, I wish that we would have done a retrevau weekend instead. The other couples in the encounter weekend were not dealing with the level of problems we were and the weekend was very uncomfortable. I tended to dwell on the affair at the time, which I think made my wife feel even more uncomfortable. I would still like to go to a retrevau(spelling?), but wife is not interested based on her experiences in the marriage encounter. Your situation may be different though and good luck and patience.

I think depending on where to stand in either rebuilding and/or the recentness of the affair chick's and TimJ's post are correct. Building is the purpose of Marriage Encounter Weekends... Recovery is the purpose of Retrouvaille!<P>To find out more about Retrouvaille click here... <A HREF="http://www.retrouvaille.org/" TARGET=_blank>Retrouvaille</A><P>Jim

chatwithu35<BR>My husband and I went to a Mariage Encounter in October. It was wonderful!!!! We were able to spend much needed time working on our relationship and our communication skills. With both of us not really knowing how to communicate to each other the week-end was a Blessing. The work you do is very intense and the results are what you each decide them to be. We went with the problem of my husband having had an affair over the summer due partly to the lack of communication in our lives. We now use what we learned on that week-end to end each day with a love letter and conversation. We will not fall into the trap of not meeting each others emotional needs again with the level of care and communication we now use. I hope your week-end will help you as much as ours did us. I will be praying for you.<BR>Gods's Blessings

Chatty,<P>I think that this is a wonderful idea and I am so envious!!!!!!! Seriously I wish my husband would go to one but he refuses. <P>I have heard great things about Retrouvaille and if that is where you are going so the much better. <P>Please post back and let us know how it went. I will be anxiously awaiting your response.<P>You are doing the right thing trying to make your marriage work with all your effort. My husband did the same thing. Believe me he missed/misses the OW greatly. Not as much now, not nearly as much as he did in the beginning. We are taking baby steps forward all the time, and occasionally big giant steps. <P>With your resolve and God on your side along with your husband's willingness to do all he can do I don't see how you can miss.<P><P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<BR>

Just came back from Retrouvaille weekend nov 12-14. Excellent - and it is definitely for people that are having problems - I'd say that at least 90% of the couples there were dealing with infidelity in their marriages (judging from reactions - there is no sharing of experiences required). Check the www. retrouvaille.org website to see if there is a weekend near you any time soon - I'm not discouraging you from marriage encounter - hey it definitely won't hurt - it's just that, as Tim mentioned the "program" is more geared to couples with big problems - some are even separated and/or comtemplating divorce. It is a wonderful weekend with 6 follow up sessions to keep the "momentum" going. It actually allowed my h. to open up emotionally and talk about stuff he usually wouldn't. Hey, guys have feelings too!! Who knew??<BR>Anyways, like I said before, try to get into a retrouvaille weekend, but if not, strike while the iron's hot and go for the marriage encounter. You will still learn valuable lessons about communication - something most of us can use lots of lessons on.

Chatwithu35,<BR> Some good friends of ours who have filed for divorce after an affair attended one of these weekends recently and have decided to wait a while and implement some of the communication techniques they learned. They are holding off on the divorce. Not a quick fix, but provided much needed renewed hope for BOTH of them. I am now looking into this for my H and I. Good luck and God bless!! Jenn<P>------------------<BR>