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Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 7
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 7 |
Am I crazy or is H. <P>He started "dating" a woman at the church we attended. When it all came out he said he hoped she and I could be friends. He always liked her and wanted me to also - like that is going to happen now. I told him there was no way I was going to be friends with her and that I was not going to worship with her either. I left that church and started attending another one by myself. That is really a hard thing to do. H has now joined me at the new church.<P>Am I over reacting?<P>------------------<BR><p>[This message has been edited by jkr (edited November 17, 1999).]
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 719
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 719 |
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 418
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 418 |
No, you're not overreacting.<P>Here's a thought: I wonder if your H is thinking that by YOU becoming friends with OW it will ease HIS guilt, thereby making the whole thing "ok"?<P>Just a thought...<P>--keystone<p>[This message has been edited by keystone (edited November 17, 1999).]
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 91
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 91 |
No, my H had affair with friend of mine. H wanted us to continue hanging out with her and her family. I said he could have NO contact with her under any circumstances or I was out of here! He grudgingly obliged. I firmly believe there can be NO contact or continuing in the marriage is not possible
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 418
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 418 |
jkr --<P>One last thing... My W has/had affair with the H of her "best friend". As said by Zombie, ALL CONTACT must be cut. Having the OW at same church has to change, even if you don't sit in the same pew!<P>--keystone
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Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 7 |
Thank you all for your responses. I have insisted on the no contact thing even though H thinks I'm going too far. We have changed churches so there is no contact that way. H really underminded my self-esteem and I was wondering if I was way off base. You all have confirmed for me that I was correct in this.
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Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 7,298
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Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 7,298 |
Good for you. I'm sure it was very hard changing churches and you may have felt resentment over BEING the one to change churches under the circumstances, but I think you did the right thing!<P>It's like H wanted to "have his cake and eat it too," yes?<P>I agree with no-contact policy. Hope everything goes smoothly!
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 921
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 921 |
Thank you God for giving me such a smart H!!! He told me before I even found out about the affair that he never wanted us to associate with each other again (At that point he had only told me about the emotional side of it!). I think it's great that I am this lucky but I wonder about the sanity of other betrayers who say "why can't we be friends?" God Bless!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<P>
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 406
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 406 |
jkr,<P>Definately you are making the right decision for now. Probably forever.
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 42
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 42 |
No, you're not overeacting at all. All contact needs to be stopped with the OP from both sides. Trust me, I have to see the OM everyday at work, it kills me everytime. I wish I could break contact with him, but I have to have the income. My W has broken all contact with him. I just wish I didn't have to see him everyday, and if I could I would leave. So look at the bright side, at least you can stop contact.
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 31
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 31 |
If you were to become "friends" with her, then how is it going to be possible for him to break all ties and separate fully from her? If you and she were friends, then she would still always be in his face right? What a joke? This request is like adding insult to injury in my opinion.
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 101
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 101 |
Jkr<BR>No contact No contact No contact. We had to leave a church that we were members for 20 years. The ow decided she wanted to go to this church after discovery. Go figure. See old posts "Best Friend Betrayal" there are about 20 responses that confirm no contact is best<BR>DandW
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