Can't believe our marriage is failing. He wants to talk to someone, he wants to go back to church, but he can't until his back recovers enough so that he can sit/walk. This is all becoming so depressing. Prayers welcome.<P>But in the meantime, I don't feel like trying anymore. I spent a year thinking we were close, then feeling like something just wasn't right again, and now I know that he's addicted to chatting and wanting to meet them, even though he says he really doesn't want to do that. This time I caught him before the act, and he doesn't know if he would have gone through with it or not. I know he would have. <P>Don't know if he's fixable, I know he's not really all that affectionate due to his upbringing, and for the first time in my marriage, I feel like I'm tired of him. All my meeting his needs to get nowhere. I realize it's him, not me anymore. I can't fix him by my actions. <P>Inappropriate paragraph coming up:<BR>So many of you want them back, but I'm here to say once you get them back, what do you really have? Why did I try so hard to keep him?<P>Once we left the cult church we were in (me for 30 years and him for about half that), he was left without a relationship with God and feeling like anything goes. It really messes you up to come out of something like that. Well, I didn't go sleeping around, but then I'm not a guy with huge hormones who gets visually turned on. <P>What is he missing that men are supposed to have, and can he ever get that? Morals that tell him it's wrong and not to act on it. Do you have to have God to help you? Why is his pull to do that stronger than his love to not hurt me?<P>I probably need to talk to a therapist about this, not you all, because it's probably just too overwhelming to you. Okay if no one responds, just need to write.<P>I take care of his bathroom needs and get out. I bring him ice and food and get out. I'm afraid this is the beginning of the end, and I've never been alone before.<P>He thinks he's addicted, and it's not his fault and needs help. I feel like it's choices he's made and continues to make in spite of our happiness. <P>When he breaks away from them he feels really good like a weight has been lifted, but I'm left feeling really bad like his weight is on me. His life improves temporarily, but mine falls apart. <P>He wants me to get the program to keep an eye on his Internet activities, yet he gets really mad when I try to get him to stop watching something on t.v. that I don't think is appropriate since he has a problem. "You're not my mother."<P>He's slowly killing something in me. I deserve better than this. I'm mad he's making me think about other men. <P>

{{{{{{{{{{Leah}}}}}}}}}}<P>Prayers and more prayers coming you way.<P>You need so desperately to get you husband into (sex addiction) therapy... <P>When you H's back get better... maybe some christian couple's retreat could prove beneficial... one geared to "new" comers...<P>I'm sorry for all that's happened to you...<BR>If you'd like a little more info on the software I recommended once, contact me at imherczeg@yahoo.com <P>Jim