After all this crap. what do i do now??<P>Bonnet suggested a letter. I don't know any more<P>I embarast her, She made it very clear she wanted this Divorce. She told me last night to take the papers and sign them.<P>I thought about the letter. Tell here how I feel. Tell her that cant fully understand what she is going through, but have an idea. Tell her that if this is what she wants I will go and leave her alone, but will dtill love her. Tell her that if there is any chance for us I will go and leave her alone to giver her the space she needs to start trying. Tell her that no matter what I am her for herand end with I love you always.<P>If I write this i want to give it to her. let her read it if she will, and she will tell me what to do from there. Leave for good, or let me get things back on track.<P><BR>I need some help here<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>

brownphdt,<P>If you wrote up that Plan B letter close to what Chris posted to you... <B>AND... You're ready for truly NO CONTACT with your W!</B> then go for it.<P>This No Contact stuff will be <B>very... very... very...</B> hard. I think especially for you... based on the posts you have had earlier. It could be one way to potentially slow down the divorce... maybe.<P>Think this decision through carefully...<BR>Once you start Plan B... if you back off and try to go back to Plan A... or no plan at all... you'll feel worse than bad.<P>Build up your courage... If you decide to go with Plan B... come back for help here at MB... you're going to need support.<P>Jim

Jim I am writing as we speak. read major mess up. She did her own plan B. Do two plan B's make it worse?????<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>

Is ny riugh draft up there sound right<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>

Hi brownphdt,<P>The plan b letter that NSr (I thoink it was) mentioned is the one I sent to my H. He should have received it yesterday. It is such a loving letter, it cant help but tell them how much we love them, and that we want to try and repair our marriages, BUT NOT while they are having an affair. I downloaded it, and basically copied it. The letter said everything that I wanted to say, and said it so succinctly.<P>I'm now in day 2, and IT IS KILLING ME. !!<BR>But, I will be strong. I feel almost at peace with myself, which is great to feel again after months of agony and indecision.<P>Only you will know whether Plan B is right for you now. I knew it was the right time for me. I actually told him to F... Off during a ph conversation, and was devastated that I said that. I decided that too many more calls like that would destroy all the love units I have been trying to deposit. I guess this is my last ditch effort to make him think/realise what he has to lose. I hope like crazy it does anyway.<BR>Your situation sounds a bit like mine, everything we do, even with the best of intentions turns out wrong, and sometinmes nasty.<P>Oh God the baby found me.!! have to go<P>Let me know<P>jo<BR>

I don't get it. These feelings is what I want from my H and can't seem to get. That "I will go to the ends of the earth" attitude is what is missing. My H seems to think that stopping and treating me better is enough. Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic.<P>Brown, you seem to be a good guy, you may finish last because of it, but even if you finished last and got her back in the process I think you would still consider yourself lucky. That is nice.<P>

Bonnet, It is hard I know. Hope this works.<P>Essyboo, I dont understand finish last. You mean take forever? I would go to the end of the world for her.<P>I gave her the letter tonight. I could post it here, but it is three hand written pages long. (let me know and I will)<BR>I went by in laws to give them my child support since they are taking care of her finances till she gets back on her feet. She was there picking up the kids. I told her that I needed to talk to her. She rolled her eyes and followed me outside. I showed her the letter and asked her to read it. She did. the whole time she was reading it she was shaking her head. then when she was done she just staird at me, and said what to you want me to say. I said what ever you want. <P>I said in the letter that if she didnt want to be with me let me know and I would be out, if she did I would be out till she was ready to try, with no pressure.<P>She then told me she has made up her mind. (she did have a sad look on her face). I said then I have to accept that. <P>Then my son came out to give me a hug she hurried back in the house, and I went to school, and no I am here.<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>