HI everyone!<P>It has been so long since I have been on that I don't recognize some of the names on here. <P>Anyway, my H had told me our relationship was over - so I filed for dissolution of marriage. The first step in IL. Then I discovered that he only said that "to be fair" to me. To let me move on while he still tried to decide to be with his family or with OW. Since then I have slowed the process - actually stopped the process. He still has not picked up the papers from the sheriff's office. Big sign that he doesn't want this to happen. <P>Anyway a couple of weeks ago he decided to see a new counselor by himself. He didn't like the one we saw. He has said he is undecided, but everything he has said led me to believe that he wants to come, but wants a professional to validate the possiblity of fixing a marriage after what he has done. He has had trouble getting an appt, but is still working on it. <P>This week I have been fielding calls from his boss (out-of-town) - since he lives with her and no one knows about this at work. When I get a call I let the machine get it then I page him and give him the message. Two times this week it took him "too long" to call back. They were out last night. That hurts.<P>He even admits he is not happy with her, but doesn't want to loose her - unless he is sure we can make it. <P>Well, today I cried about all this for the first time in a very long time. I want to spend Thanksgiving with him. This will be our first apart in 11 years (9 married & 1 engaged). To me, if he is coming home and it is a matter of when - then make it before Thanksgiving. We can either spend it here - or with his parents (where he is going alone). What a surprise for them if the three of us showed up (my H, my son and I).<P>I am not sure how to be patient - I know I have to if I am going to get him back. I was so ready to move on without him, but now that there is I want him back. I know if I am not patient - it is love busting to a certain degree. I can't pressure him - it will drive him away. <P>How can I hold on - I almost have my hopes up and ready for another let down. <P>HELP!!! 8) Forgive all the errors!<P>------------------<BR>d is for dog<BR>h is for hope<BR>j is for joy, pure joy!<P>

It does sound as if he continues to be confused. I would make my own plans for Thanksgiving. Then you aren't left in the cold if he doesn't come through. I pray that he will.

Thanks - I do have plans for the holiday. The part that bothers me is how much he has led me to believe that he is going to move back home and soon. If that is the case - why not for the holiday.

Dhj: Whether he is with you this Thanksgiving or not, here's wishing you a peaceful and good Thanksgiving. I hope things work out for you. I know it doesnt' help when you are the one waiting in the wings, but in time things will work themselves out. In the meantime....enjoy the turkey, the pumpkin pie and family. Sometimes life doesn't always give us roses to smell, but there are some real nice honeysuckle flowers on the road to wellness. Have a great Thanksgiving.

I like the way you put your response. I knew what I was in for when I chose to wait for H, but that does not make it any easier. I love honeysuckle - I guess I am tired of smelling those and the turds along the way. I'd love to get wif of roses! Maybe I will soon. <P>Thanks - I guess the fact that I get to smell honeysuckle is better than what a great deal of people get to smell along the way. Thanks for reminding me.

What ever you do don't push. I did and now I'm still without her and now no e-mails, no going to her house no nothing. Just be patiant and thins will come together<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>