Lostva: What happened? Have you written the letter or spoke with him since Monday? I have been worried about you. Maybe part of me is looking for a light through your experiences. It gives me hope with my life. I know I shouldn't put that kind of pressure on you or anybody else, but it's like the old saying "if they can do it so can I." I also know that it's unreasonable to think that as well. Not everyone can go at the same pace and for some they can't even go the same route. Can you tell today has been a rough day for me? I am beginning to become unreasonable. My spouse as usual is giving me the cold shoulder again. He didn't even call me last evening. I did not get on his case about it this morning. I just gave him a kiss and told him I loved him before I left. I tell you I might as well be kissing a pillar of ice, but I am not giving up. <BR>I did relax alittle last evening though. I sat in front of the t.v. and watched The West Wing and ate Taco Bell. The show actually took my mind off my problems. In fact, right now I look forward to watching it every week. It is another needed alternative to worrying about my failure as a wife. Let me know how it goes with you. My love to you.

Sobeit - Thanks so much for asking. I've been checking in every day, but not posting too much. Got a lot on my mind. Yes, I wrote the letter. Wasn't patient, though, so I called him to apologize for the first two. He was pretty nice considering she was right there. 'Course it was hard to be mean, 'cause the minute I started talking I started bawling. Anyway, I got the apology off my chest, explained things and he was receptive. Nothing more, but he could've been mean, right? Said he'd call me later this week, but I'm not counting on it.<P>I'm so sorry things are still rough for you. You're doing so well. You know it's a long hard road and I'm really proud how you're hanging in there, no matter what. That takes a lot of guts, you know? Just keep on......... You're not a failure!!!!!! You made a mistake or two, just like the rest of us mortals!!! Don't you ever forget that.<P>Good for you to take a break! I guess that's what I'm kinda doing. My nerves are shot and there's a lotta bad going on at work now. Soooo, I don't seem to have much to say to encourage my friends. I guess I've just gotten myself a little overwhelmed and tired. I'm still reading though, and thinking a lot about everybody here.<P>Gotta go fix a little dinner for the million teenagers that seem to have appeared in my front yard! Talk to you later. And, if you ever need me and don't find me here, you can always e-mail me, ok?<P>Thanks again,<P>Lori