To day has been good and bad for me. I wrote her a letter yesterday. Told her how I felt , and if she wanted me gone I would go(out of her life). I have thought about her all day, but tryed to make the best of it. Thank goodness I do physical work and not sit in an office. I would go crazy. When I gave her the letter she looked sad. Then said what do you want me to say? She said she had made up her mind. She also said we shouldn't stayed together as long as we did.( that hurts).<P>Anyway to day all I could think about is how I could prove to her she would have unconditional love if we had another chance. I want to go amsk her to go christmas shpping. She need a jacket I want to get for her. I want to do things I never did, but things dont look good for the home team.<P>I dont know how to handel this situation.<P>P.S. i will type the letter if you want to read it but its long.<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P><p>[This message has been edited by brownphd (edited November 18, 1999).]

Dear dear brownphd,<P>I just responded to your other post!!<P>Please can I be honest with you. and Please don't take it the wrong way, my comments are not meant to upset you.<P>You sound as tho you are doing all the right things, demonstrating to her how much you love her and want things to work, but maybe you are 'in her face'.<P>Maybe she needs time and the opportunity to get to miss you, to realise what she did have with you. With you ringing, sending letters and wanting to be with her (God, how I understand that) she's not getting the opportunity or the space to miss you.<P>Plan B is so hard, and I'm only up to day 4, but I'm determined to give him the space he needs, and the time to decide who/what he wants. I think that for me I couldn't do anymore. I feel it might be the same for you.<P>Let her ponder all that you've said and done, without you being around.<P>Maybe buy the jacket she would like with her mother (do you get on with MIL), what a loving gesture that would be.<P>You may have to handle Christmas shopping alone this year, what a miserable prospect but we're here for you. <P>Jo

I have been " in her face" that is why wrote the letter. I just called her to tell her about the cake thing I got her voice mail. I'll see if she calls back.<P>I did this cause I hope she will miss the new me, but we have been seperated for 11 months. She had a chance to miss me. Whil she was pregnant she did. and told me she did'n want to do this alone. I got not forgive her at the time, although I wanted to.<P>The opertunity was there at one time and is now gone. She had the baby, lost weight, and now has new male companionhip. Maybe after they do her wrong like the last one or have drifted apart she will see.<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>

while you've been separated for 11 mths - she would have had the opportunity to miss the OLD you.<P>It sounds to me like you've been depositing so many love units, and trying so hard to do all the right things, maybe now she'll miss the NEW you.<P>Who knows what is the right thing to do. I know I have the feeling that Plan B is right for me, and I have a good feeling about it.<BR>Whether that good feeling is because i'm on the way to finding me again, or whether its because maybe things will work out for us - who knows that either.<P>All I know is that I HAD to find some peace from somewhere. Plan B has allowed that so far.<P>The cake thing is GOOD - you'll touch her heart with that one. You're thinking of your child - and whenever a father thinks so lovingly of his child it can't help but affect the woman too. (that is entirely my own feeling)<P>I'm taking my girls to have their Santa photos done today - hey - why don't you do that for her ?? <BR>Their father will receive a copy in the mail, god I miss him.<P>Many good thoughts heading your way,<P>Jo

I may try that too. She may think I am trying to take away all the things she does thouhg.<P>My W wont show her teue feelings to anyone. That is a big problem for her.<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>