HI All,<BR> THIS IS A LONG ONE BUT I PROMISE YOU WILL FIND HOPE HERE. PLEASE COMMENT, I NEED INPUT!!!!!!<BR> It's been strange here the last two days. Yesterday W calls after not calling for 4 days (longest since the day she left.) We had just spent the entire day together in Boston and had a great time. So, no contact!!<BR> W was REALLY PMSing. Was rude and cold. Mentioned some money that she THINKS I owe her for carrying me on her insurance. Even though last three weeks I paid her car payment, and deposited $400 in her account and spent another $400 on her shopping. I just let her be rude. No LBs. She said she had money problems so I asked her if she wanted me to help. W says, " I DON'T WANT ANYTHING FROM YOU!!!!" (I bit my tongue)<P> In the mitts of all that W mentioned that she was going to see her Father (who has terminal cancer and a month or so to live) and that her neck was killing her and that she wasn't looking forward to the 1 1/2 hr drive. <P>W also mentioned that I should go and see him because he is sliding fast (HINT??). So I offered to drive down with her. W says, "No that's OK, if we go we can take separate cars because I don't know when I'm coming back" I don't need ANYBODY to drive me!!!"<P> She said a couple of rude things and abruptly hung up. That was yesterday.<P> This morning W calls all sweet and asks if I'm going to see her father. I said I was either today or tomorrow. She said she was going today and says "If you're going today, we may as well drive down together" HUH? I said when are you going she said "In an hour, if you want I can come over and pick you up" I said "OK I'll jump in the shower" SHE WAS HERE IN 15 minutes!!<BR> So we drive down together. She told me her Sister that she's fighting with was going to be there and her Mother told W to come down and "Make Peace" <BR> Her Sister has RE-MARRIED her husband, went back to church AND after 20 years got her H to go and he was baptized!! Their D was INCREDIBLY CRUEL and hurtful to ALL of us as we helped SIL through it we all HATED BIL. This makes it tough NOW during their visits. We all have had mixed feelings about BIL and whether or not he FORCED her back with threats or something.<P> W is mad because her BIL was really cruel during the D and now, my W is mad at her sister TOO (THIS IS INCREDIBLE!! ) because she went back after the family defended her against her H !!!!<BR> It gets better. (?) I talked with my SIL for an hour asking her why she went back. She told me that SHE WAS A BETRAYER in her M and THAT'S why her H flipped out!!! She revealed ALL the pain SHE had inflicted on her H during her affair. The rest of the family has NEVER HEARD THE "Rest of the Story"!!!!<P> SIL and H are now doing fine and she had to break ties with US until she could make her M stronger!! She didn't want to tell us about the affair!!!<P> So now comes the confrontation between W and SIL. Guess who the mediator is?? ME. I told my W that although we ALL hated BIL for what he did DURING the D. He is again part of our family and they are trying to, and were successful in repairing their relationship and RE-MARRYING!! We as a FAMILY needed to NOT make it hard on them, we should SUPPORT and HELP them because DIVORCE IS NOT AN OPTION!! Because GOD HATES DIVORCE!! AND that SIL had not told us HER part in the destruction of their marriage. It wasn't worth bringing up now because it didn't matter. All that matters is THEY have forgiven each other.<BR> <BR> W argued that BIL had said and done hurtful things to ALL of us and SIL allowed him to. I said, "The past is the past we must forgive 70 X 7 that's what the BIBLE says!!<BR> <BR> GOD was helping me be the MAN in the family and through HIM repair my W's family!! It worked!! After about an hour of this, they cried and hugged!!!!<BR> PRAISE GOD!! My MIL said I missed my calling I should have been a counselor!! When we were alone, she tearfully thanked me for helping mend the family during this awful time.<BR> The rest of the day was spent reminiscing about the GOOD times they had had together as a family. AGAIN PRAISE GOD!! <BR> There really wasn't any immediate affect on our MARRIAGE, but now I feel I have SOMEONE in my W's family that will tell my W HOW NO RELATIONSHIP IS HOPELESS and my SIL can tell her FIRST HAND how STUPID AND PAINFUL AFFAIRS ARE AND HOW STUPID AND PAINFUL DIVORCE IS!!<P><BR> I shared that with you all because BELIEVE ME if my SIL's marriage can go where it gone. AFFAIR, UGLY UGLY DIVORCE and then RE-MARRIAGE (over a 4 year period 1 yr. in NEW MARRIAGE) It should REMIND us that WITH GOD ALL IS POSSIBLE!!! <P> Please share your thoughts about this and how it may affect my attempts to reconcile with my Wife. I'd appreciate it. GOD BLESS FRANK

Thanks for sharing your experience. You are strong in your commitment. I hope your wife comes to appreciate your love for her and her family.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I need to hear this sooo bad!! It gives me so much hope right now. Especially since I'm expecting ex-h to call and he hasn't!

Wow, that is really really wonderful. You are a gift to that family. <P>God Bless!

please help,<BR>You are a God send to the family. There is hope that SIL will will be able to get W to see the error in her ways. Take it slow. She will come around with much prayer and patience<P>------------------<BR>God Bless,<BR>Rob<P><BR>

HI All,<BR> Thanks for the kind words. It's just God working through me. I do love my Wife's family though. My Father-In-Law PAssed away<BR>saturday. He was a good man. I'm really going to miss him. He filled in the gaps that my own Father left. Oh boy, my Life is so painful from so many directions lately. GOOD LUCK AND PRAYERS, FRANK

Please Help,<P>Thanks so much for sharing that story. It is incredible and gives us much hope.<P>I am sorry about your father in law. Now he is with God. No more pain or sorrow for him. Up there waiting for you, your wife and family.<P>What TNT said. Yes, you are a wonderful gift to your family.<BR><P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<BR>