Hello. This is my first time writing on here. My partner and I are not married.<BR>But ever since I found out he was with prostitutes on a conference 18 months ago, and I chose to stay, our relationship has slowly been on a downward spiral.<P>It has been so hard. Lots of highs, some very bad lows. And basically I feel that it has not got better because I can't seem to let go of the past and trust him. It has really affected our sex life. This really upsets him as he feels I don't desire him. I do, but my body doesn't respond.<P>He has been to counselling, I have been to counselling, and things still haven't got better. Now I am suggesting we go together. At first he said he would, now tonight he has said he will not go as he doesn't think it will help. <P>And then he said he doesn't want to marry in the forseeable future, he's not ready for that or children, he wants to have fun and travel. <P>Am I wasting my time with someone who doesn't want towork at it with me. He said he is happy for me to stay if I want, and that he does love me, but he thinks Iwill not be happy if I stay since he knows I do want marriage.<P>But I want it with him, and I can't help feeling that if we can just get our relationship back on track then that will happen naturally.<P>Should I go to more counselling on my own, or just get out?

imho, you should leave. you have nothing to lose .no kids, etc. <BR>but do waht your heart says to do.

I have to agree with covenant... get away from him...<P>If you just lurk around this site you'll see so many men here for whom marriage is a real commitment... from what you say... I think your SO is far from a stage in life where he can satisfy any woman's long term expectations. <P>There are still many good men in the world... <P>Jim

Agree with covenant and NSR. He would have to be willing to make some kind of commitment for you to stay, at least a commitment to work on your relationship together through counseling, and maybe some indication that he might eventually want to get married. Regards and blessings,<P>--Wex