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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 7 |
After learning about an infatuation I had and carried on for several months with another woman, my wife asked me to move out and indicates she is not interested in reconciliation. I love her and want to restore our marriage. How can I win her back and prove my self to her?
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 24
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 24 |
You have caused a lot of pain and part of that can be feeling like your second choice. She may feel to scared to risk say "yes" and working on your relationship only to have you hurt her again (remember your word,although it may be honest,doesn't hold much water)Try going to a counselor by your self, take full responsibility for your actions (noone can make you have an affair; you can choose to work out the problems instead of looking for support with another woman). Then maybe she will see your effort and join you at the sessions. My H had an affair and no flowers, sorrys,etc. was going to help.Most of all tell her why you want to be part of her life and try to understand why the affair happened so you can stop the cycle with your wife or future relationships.I'm glad you want to work on this.Good Luck
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,758
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,758 |
I understand why your wife doesn't want to go through the problems with you again, of feeling second best, and not being able to trust you. <P>No more contact whatsoever with the person you were infatuated with. <P>How did you meet this person? How did you become infatuated? <P>
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 7 |
to trustntruth<P>I met her while co-presenting at a conference - we worked well together<P>never...never...never see her, e-mail her, talk to her - in fact I quit a $500/day training job so I would not run into her by chance (small price to pay - too little too late)<P>
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 7 |
My wife is actively using the word divorce and, I think, looking for Christian justification to divorce and not take the chance to be hurt - devastated - again. Need your thoughts / suggestions and PRAYERS.<P>R
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 2,388
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 2,388 |
Rick<BR>I only have a minute - will be back later.<BR>Just wanted to say WOW!<BR>You have made some very important steps already.<BR> Using the word "infatuation". Stopping all contact.<BR>Your wife is in shock. <BR>You will get some very wonderful advice here.<BR>Keep showing your remorse to her. Keep showing your love.<BR>Welcome to the forum. ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif)
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 84
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 84 |
Rick,<P>WOW! If all that you say is true (sorry, I don't mean to be pesimisstic, that tells you about our progress...or lack of...) Anyway, I am very impressed and happy for you. As WASSTUBBORN said, those things take most betrayers many months to admit. Many of us wish we were hearing those things from our spouses!<P>You might want to encourage your wife to visit this site for ideas and feedback. Many of us are in her position. We would very much like to help you both.<P>Good Luck!!<P>--Jenn<P>------------------<BR>
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 7 |
I'd love for her to check out this resource, but I'm not sure how to make it happen. She's always looked to me for support in using the net...maybe our son could help her???<P>If you have any suggestions short of broadcasting her contact information let me know. I'm not the good guy in this and I don't want her to make a bad decision because of what I've done.<P>R
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 7 |
I don't want to leave you guys with a wrong impression about my wife. This is the fourth time this has happened (last was 10 yrs ago) and my wife is ABSOLUTELY convinced I have had a physical affair which is one reason why she has such a strong response.<P>R
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