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Joined: Oct 1998
Posts: 2,075
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Joined: Oct 1998
Posts: 2,075 |
My husband had been relatively close to my family prior to his moving out. He has since asked about them fairly frequently.<P>My dilemma is this: My brother in law's dad is dying. He probably will not live more than another day or so ... Do I call my husband and let him know this (he returns from Florida tomorrow)? Or, should I wait and see if he initiates contact? I was planning to wait prior to finding out about my bil's dad, and I know that my husband would want to know about this - and may even wish to go to the services.<P>I'm truly torn about what to do in this case ... please let me know what you all think about this situation.<P>Thanks...<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<BR>
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 762
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 762 |
Terri,<BR> Have you decided to start Plan B? If not, I'd go ahead and call him. If you're starting Plan B, maybe you can have someone else call him and tell him.<P> If your H would like to go to the hospital or to the funeral, as the case may be, he may resent it if you don't let him know about it. I think that in a situation like this--where he would never again be able to pay his respects to your BiL's father, it's better to let him know than not.
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Joined: Oct 1998
Posts: 2,075
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Joined: Oct 1998
Posts: 2,075 |
Sweetpea - no, haven't gone to Plan B at this point. Not sure if/when that will be. I had originally planned to leave a message on the answering machine that I needed to talk with him about something important so would he please call me as soon as he could. That leaves the ball in his court and shows that I at least tried to reach him. What are your thoughts on that?<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<BR>
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 418
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 418 |
terri --<P>You have to tell him. Put your thoughts aside right now. He may not appreciate it now, but he'll remember it later.<P>The key thing, though, is to put your own thoughts aside.<P>Good luck in this trying time <P>--keystone
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,758
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,758 |
Dear Terri,<P>Go ahead and tell him. I think there are times when you need to make decisions that put your husband's affair second to the issue at hand, like this one.<P>My regards to your brother in law.<P> ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif)
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 1,832
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 1,832 |
terri,<P>This happened to me - uncle had a stroke and H was in FL with OW. I left a message for him to call me and he DIDN'T for 2 days! So, you might want to consider just leaving the message on his answering machine about BIL. Then, if he wants to contact you for more details, he can, and if he chooses not to call you back, at least he will have been told, and you will know that you did the right thing.<P>Roll Me Away
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Joined: Oct 1998
Posts: 2,075
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Joined: Oct 1998
Posts: 2,075 |
Well, I left a message this morning, knowing that he was still away (scheduled to come back today). I haven't heard from him at this point, but it just could be that he isn't home yet. Maybe he will call tomorrow - maybe he won't call at all.<P>I talked today with a woman who knows the slug in a way that most of the people I have known previously do not. What I heard has confirmed some suspicions I've had about the type of people he has been hanging around with for the past few years. I will post a separate post about that.<P>Thank you all for the advice. I do appreciate it very much.<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<BR>
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