and two days. But who's counting?<P>I guess the affair started to get really hot & heavy about this time last year. They had only known each other since Sept or so.<P>Within 5 months she decides to leave with him! (and 6 weeks of those without him around!)<P>Now I feel I'm at the stage of grieving the loss of the relationship. Anymore it's not so much that she is gone, but we had something for 20 years & now we don't. Don't have any idea what is on her mind. She doesn't talk about returning to stay or divorce, doesn't talk about us or her life.<P>Just don't know anymore. Yes I'm still waiting. I need to regain my focus on what I need to do, regroup myself and my life, actions and attitude towards myself, my kids & my Wife.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

Hi Chris...<P>I really feel for you...<BR>9 months is a long... long... time. Especially when you are raising kids alone.<P>I think I'm just a tad over six month's behind you (my wife left a litte less than 3 months ago... 8 days... but you're right, who's counting.) <P>You sound really down today...<BR>I put a post out earlier Friday AM... check it out... {"Friends"... Take Time} maybe it will cheer you up a little. <P>I know it feels bad to <B>not</B> know what's on her mind... at least you don't have to hear my W said to me (this/last night picking up the kids)..."I'll never come back to you"... I'm still hoping for some attitude changes there.<P>Wait in faith...<BR>Focus on you... (for you and the kids)<BR>God will take care of your W... <P>Peace for your day tomorrow.<P>Jim

Chris,<P>I also used to count the days that we were separated, became too depressing for me. Well that and I can't count that high. Don't need help in the depression department. I'm stocked full for a while.<P>I don't know if this will help you, but I visualize that my marriage is "on hold" presently. This does not mean that I give up, yet. My W is "out to lunch" right now. I left a message for her to call when she "comes back". <P>Hey NSR,<P>One question for you, When she told you that where her lips moving? I don't believe anything I hear from "them" and half of what I see.<P>Wishing us all the Best,<P>Medic

Chris,<P>My H left 9 months ago day after tomorrow, so I'm not far behind you. I don't understand how they can decide to give up a long term marriage for the way they have been feeling for "weeks, maybe months" as my H put it. We had been married for 19 years, and he too had been seeing the OP for about 5 months. <P>Our stories are depressingly similar in time frame, although my H is not across the country and is trying to divorce as quickly as possible. He literally won't talk to me for more than a few minutes, even if it a subject he initiated, and he never looks me in the eye. <P>I will never understand how they can leave their kids.

Chris,<P>Feeling for you this morning. Sorry.....<P>There are so many of us in this holding pattern. You are doing such a WONDERFUL job with your children. Your attitude has been INSPIRING to the rest of us, too. But, you just sound tired right now, and with good reason. Being Mom and Dad and dealing with your own losses just eventually takes its toll.<P>You guys need to have some FUN this weekend....Go out and do something to take your mind off all this stuff....Maybe buy yourself a little "gift".<P>I am in search of a new CD today - don't know what it will be - just a little "treat" to myself. You need one, too!! <P>Roll Me Away

I truly feel for you...I have read many of your posts and tey have elped me so much. It cannot be easy (understatemnt of the year!)<P>We have been separated for 8 months....and it is so hard. have seen H 3X since June and this was 2X at court! H is running around with OW in an adolescent way and being "uncle dad" when he wants to. <P>Do they ever understand the devestation they leave in their wake by their quest for this " happiness"???? By not dealing with reality of parenthood it is so much easier to ignore and by not ever "facing me, he can forget all of the 22 years of marriage.<P>Does your wife play the "victim?' as my H does to the kids? (who are starting to see through this ploy I hope. (ie he has tried to convince them that it is all my fault and he had to have the affair and relationship because I was so bad to him (not the truth at all or the marriage would not have lasted as long as it did and worked as well as it did for him even more than me for so many years.) But this is our history only now<P>I guess this is his justification.<P>