My husband is living with another women. We are still very attracted to each other. I know he wants to come home but we have some real hurt to heal on both sides. I have been having sex with him and now I feel like the 'other' woman. What damage am I doing to myself to make love to him now before he returns home? I cant even bring this up to my counselor.

Welcome to the Marriage Builders - Infidelity Forum.<P>It sounds like you could (maybe already have) started working on your marriage with <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>! That is good...<P>But to the point of your question <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>What damage am I doing to myself to make love to him now before he returns home?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> This is difficult to say and varies for each person... If you realize that you are satisfying one of his most important <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>Emotional Needs</A>, and then emotional toll on you is not too great... go on for a while... But the situation cannot go on indefinitely! You will reach a point where, by having this and other feelings... your <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3200_love.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Bank</A> for him..."how much you have love for him"... drops off so low... that to protect yourself you'll need to start <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B</A>! This is a <B>very</B> difficult step... and some time in Plan A would mostly be recommended.<P>If you haven't gone through the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3000_intro.html" TARGET=_blank>Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts</A> yet, do so... and if you haven't gotten the book <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank>"Surviving An Affair"</A> by Dr. Willard Harley, yet... <B>really</B> do so!<P>Your are going through H*!! right now... don't go it alone... remember... <B>you are <I>not</I> Alone</B>! The people here are here to support you.<P>Post... Post... Post... Reply... Reply... Reply... READ! READ! READ!<P>Prayers to you and your H.<BR>Rely a little more on Christ... He is the way!<P>Jim<BR>---------------------------------<BR>Where two or more are gathered in my name...<p>[This message has been edited by NSR (edited November 20, 1999).]

thanks nsr for replying. I really thought I was doing the wrong thing by sleeping with him. I have read the book "Surviving an Affair" and so has my husband. I am relying on God immeasurably and thats what makes me sane along with running everyday.thanks

julsv,<P>Just as a point of clarification... I don't know what is right or wrong... (I don't think anyone knows for sure.) I do, however, believe <B>you</B> must find out what is going to help <B>you</B> the most... only you know your husband... hopefully in ways no one else does or ever will.<P>Rely on your own feelings and intuition sometimes... You don't always have to go "by the book"... although it is a good guide.<P>More prayers...<P>Jim<BR>