About 3 months ago my wife's brother-in-law moved here. His wife (my wifes sister) stayed behind till the house sold. The brother-in-law is originally from here and his entire family lives here. While his wife or my wifes sister was 1,000 miles away. This guy and my wife go lunch 3 times during this 3 month period. I might add alone. My wife and her sister are not real close. I would say that they talk on the phone about 3 or 4 times a year. My wife thinks that there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. I think otherwise. Let me know??

First off... trying not uing you real name...<BR>(Just a recommendation)<P>More importantly...<BR>Calling 3 or 4 times a year is probably no big deal... but if the frequency of contact (# of lunches) increases, I would begin to worry!<P>Having read you profile though... I'd start to worry anyway (not so much about W's BIL) but about your marriage itself. Have you (together) ever gone to any counseling? Marriage encounters? or anything? recently? or in the past?<P>Your W could be avoiding what it takes to work on a marriage (yes... it takes a lot of work)... And you've got to address this. If you haven't read it yet... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6020_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>"His Needs, Her Needs"</A> by Dr. Willard Harley is an excellent book to find out about the dynamics of a marriage relationship... get it... read it... If you can, get your W a copy too! If you strongly suspect an affair (then it most likely exists )... I would then suggest <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank>"Surviving An Affair"</A>.<P>Keep coming back here...<BR>We want to help you... <P>I'm praying for some enlightenment for your W about what her marriage to you means.<P>Jim<BR>------------------<BR>I can dare myself... I'll put a pebble in my shoe...<BR>I can walk... I can walk! I shall call the pebble Dare...<BR>Dare shall be carried... And when we both have had enough<BR>I will take him from my shoe, singing... "Meet your new road!"...<BR>Finally glad... Finally glad... That you are here... By my side...

I forgot to mention that my wife's sister is getting a divorce. The divorce has all came about sinceshe wife arrived here, only to find out hubby had been cheating on her. My wife's sister's husband (my wife's brother-in-law) has told his wife (my wife's sister) to tell her sister (my wife) to stop calling him. To clear up my first letter. My wife talked to her sister only about 3 or 4 times a year, never made an effort before to talk to her brother-in-law. This is not my name either. <P>[This message has been edited by Christen Nielson (edited November 21, 1999).]<p>[This message has been edited by Christen Nielson (edited November 21, 1999).]