Hey there,<P>Today would have to be the worst day of my LIFE - and I do not say that lightly.<P>I ended up taking the children to a fun/amusement place in one of our shopping centres, where they have a guy who does tarot readings. He has been highly recommened in the past. Anyway, this is what he said :<P>he asked what star sign I was, and what star sign was my partner (so he knew I had a partner)<P>went on to say to be careful when backing car anywhere, I was going to run into something. Great, needed to hear that today. More money that I havent got !!<P>asked if there was a separation betw. my partner and myself. Yep, those were his exact words. I replied yes.<P>he said that there is no emotional attachment to other person, the emotional attachment is with me. Said that the cards said that a reconciliation is likely. Said that counselling was the way to go. (At this point I wondered if he was going to give me a business card saying he was a marriage counsellor as well !!)<P>I at that stage told him that H was in Melb. and I couln;t see any reconciliation. He said the cards said we needed to talk about what the issues were (I think he reads this site) and again mentioned counselling.<P>I told him that H was coming to Brisbane for Christmas, and would that be a good time to discuss the situation, or was that too late.<BR>He said no, that time frame was perfect. Give H a bit of space before the discussion takes place. <P>I asked again for a bit more infomation about relationships in general where we are concerned, he again said that the relationship with OW is not emotional (obviously just sexual!!), that the cards indicated reconciliation, but that it was up to me to initiate the discussion about reconciliation.<P>What do you think of that. There is no way he could have known we are separated, I wore my engagement/wedding rings deliberately.<P>That is now the third reading I have had done, and all have said that we will reconcile. I still have my doubts after today (read my post "I've had enough") but I guess its another little thread to hang onto.<P>Let me know how yours goes. I think I'll have one more done, with someone who is the mother of someone I know !! Apparently she's amazing. Are we clutching at straws do you think. Oh well, even if I am, at least it was something positive.<P>Have a great Sunday, and talk to you soon<P>Jo

Bonnet,<P>I don't think we are cluchting at straws. We know in our hearts how sacred marriage is, even if we fell short on our end. I have hope my hope comes from God. I recieved this in the mail from Robin and I's realitor. We became friends with her and she has kept up with us over the past 5 years. She has no idea what we are going through. This blew me away.<P>I asked God to take away my pain.<BR>God said,"NO. It's not for me to take away,but for you to give it up."<P>IaskedGod to make my handicapped child whole.<BR>God said"NO. Her spirit is whole,her body is only temporary."<P>I asked God togrant me patience.<BR>God said "NO.Patience is a by product of tribulations:it isn't granted it's earned."<P>I asked God to give me happiness.<BR>God said"NO. I give you blessings. Happiness is up to you."<P>I asked God to spare me pain.<BR>God said"NO.Suffering parts you from worldly cares and brings you closer to me."<P>I asked God to make my spirit grow.<BR>God said"NO. You must grow your own.but I will prune you to make you fruitful."<P>I asked for all things that I may enjoy life.<BR>God said "NO.I will give you life that you may enjoy all things."<P>I asked God to help me love others,as much as He loves me.<BR>God said,"...Ahh, finally you have the idea."<P>I read this and I said to myself he is out there and is watching out for me.<BR>Hang In,<BR>Bill<BR><P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Jo,<BR>Glad you went for another reading. The good thing about it is that you feel better. At this point in my life, feeling better, if even only for a short period of time, is quite an accomplishment. The depression is so overwhelming that sometimes I don't think I will make it through another minute, let alone another day, week, month or heaven forbid that this takes years to resolve. So in that respect, I think these readings are giving us enough hope to keep alive and sane (of course, you would have to be sane in the first place <P>I have now seen 3 readers. They have all said the exact same thing. Reconiliation is coming, great improvement by Christmas, settled by Feb., we were meant to be together and he realizes this. They all said that he is not nearly as happy as he thought he would be and is having serious doubts about what he is doing. They also said that I have to be the one to start the conversations (no kidding). Whether any of this will come to pass, who knows. I do know that I continue to pray to God that he will lead H to find his way home to us. I have never been an extremely religious person, however I have always been a believer.<P>I hope that you are feeling a little bit better today than you were yesterday. If it takes hearing someone else, that we think can see something we can't, to help us hang on another day, then I think we have to do whatever helps us go on. I don't feel that what the readers said is always perfectly "on", because one told me that some people around me are jealous of me (what kind of sadists am I around???), but just a little spark of hope helps me get out of bed each morning and I need that help to do that.<P>Hope today is better. Email me if you want.<P>------------------<BR>God Bless you and yours,<P>Sheryl W.<P>www.widesmiles.org/gallery/britanie

I had to change my name because I changed servers and needed to change email address, but typed in the wrong address and couldn't access again.<P>So I am now mitme101, but the same old depressed, miserable, pathetic self.<P><P>------------------<BR>God Bless you and yours,<P>Sheryl W.<BR>

Jo,<BR>Are you alright? Write me when you can.<BR><P>------------------<BR>God Bless you and yours,<P>Sheryl W.<BR>

Thanks for responding to me guys. I've had a couple of rough days, first baby was sick with 24 hr stomach bug, then 4yo d went down with same thing. My whole life smells like vomitus !!!<P>Anyway,<P>WilliamJ - thanks for your post. I've printed it, as I'm desparately trying to find my faith again in God. What you received from your friend Robin is so true. I'm going to try and read it every day. It makes me realise that my life in is my hands, hopefully with God looking over my shoulder ! I will hang in there. Thanks Bill.<P>mitme101 - Thanks again. What wonderful friends I seem to making at this site. I suffered from depression from Feb. this year when baby slept only 20 mins at a time, for about 3 months !!! My grandfather (whom I was so close to) also died, and I hated that my H didn't have time for me. I know the effects of depression, and what the medication can do. I also know the feeling of not knowing whether I could make it through the next 10 minutes - like you said.<BR>However, I have not gone back to medication at this stage. I feel that I am strong enough at this point to do without it. Whether that changes at a later stage, who knows, and if I'm not dealing with things ok I will go back on it. Are you on medication.<BR>My email if you'd like it is <BR> romsey@one.net.au<BR>I'd love to correspond with you.<BR>Your reading sounds much the same as mine - maybe they all go to tarot reading school !!!<BR> "Now class - this is the standard response when someone is separated from their partner .....!!"<P>Know that a little spark is coming your way from down under, to help face each and every day. I will email you.<BR>Hugs<BR>Jo