Does this make any sense?<P>I've been living on and off with my girlfriend for the last four years. We have set a wedding date and everything is in the works, but I am still not sure. We are going to a pre-marriage counselor next week.<P>I miss my girlfriend when I am away, but I'm not sure if this is simply a case of being without a woman or her or what? We have a few things in common, but not a lot. One person told me this is a case of thinking the grass is always greener on the other side.<BR>I feel love for my three nieces, my parents, but I just don't know what I feel for this woman. <P>Question: Did many of the participants feel totally in love before marriage?<P>How many had doubts which they wish they had listened to before their marriage?<P>How many are glad they overcame their reservation (or cold feet) and are happy with their decision.<P>P.s. The opposite can be true and thus I hope women would offer their insight as well.<P>

Hi John,<P>First of all I must tell you that it does make sense. But why you don't know what you feel to this woman?<P>I must admit that when I got married, I did not TOTALLY in love. I was in love, yes but there were also lots of doubts in me whether he is the one, whether there someone else out there which is more fit to me. I overcome this by asking my self of my expectation from my H and how he match that. As far as I am concern, he has many good qualities, I knew that he'll be a good husband and be a good father and on the top of everything, we both are love each other. And we got married and yes we've been through a bumpy road and we've had few hiccups (click my sun glasses).<P>But now, I feel happy with my decision. We both now are not the same people that are married to each other 4 months a go. Yup, only 4 months a go but we both have changed in some way. The way we live our lives, the way we think for each other and the way we behave our selves toward each other. Now everytime I wake up in the morning, everytime I feel upset about something, I have always remain my self that I am going to live the rest of my life with this man. That we are going to have kids, grand kids and that we are going to grow old together and to tell you the truth, that has been the most wonderful feeling I ever felt.<P>Well, sorry for rambling, but that's my 2 cents. Hope its worth. Good luck on your decision <P>Saskia<p>[This message has been edited by Saskia (edited July 08, 1999).]