My wife and I have been married for just over 2 years now, and things are really going downhill in our relationship.<P>We live apart (in ajoining states) and see each other only on weekends, normally. I was planning on moving to be with her early next year (end of January), but recent events have me worried about our future.<P>Recently (over the last 6 months), she has become VERY distant. We have sex about once a month (sometimes not even that). She often informs me at 2:00pm that she will be too tired to do anything that evening so I shouldn't get my hopes up. When I ask her what is bothering her, or if she is unattracted to me as of late, she doesn't want to talk about it.<P>I've noticed she doesn't usually even sit on the couch with me anymore, she prefers to sit in another chair while we're watching TV or reading.<P>She's too tired for us to go out to eat or go to a movie, but she seems to have no problem going out to bars with her friends 'til 1;30 AM on Friday nights - leaving me sitting around waiting for her to come home after driving 3 hours to see her. When I try to talk to her about it she says I just don't want her to go out with her friends - which is not true - I've never even mentioned or insinuated something like that.<P>I'm obviously VERY concerned about the way things have been going, and I'm not sure what to do next. I still love her very much and can't bear the thought of giving up on the our relationship. I just couldn't imagine loving anyone as much as I do her, but I really don't know what to do next...<P>Any help would be GREATLY appreciated.<P>3D

i feel horrible for you. but your wife has a problem. if you can't get her to talk to you, maybe she will talk to a therapist. don't feel bad because things look bad just after two years. people have their worst problems at all different stages of marriage. there's no rules on these things. one thingi want to ask though, do you think that living together is a possibility? joint addresses can do wonders for a marriage.

Hi 3D,<BR>I agree with Smitty….. something is indeed bothering your wife, and for some reason she cannot bring herself to communicate what it is with you. The key is to not demand an explanation, as this can often cause one to withdraw even further. And, too, distance can be very dangerous, especially with young marriages. It is crucial to merge in a marriage, and it’s difficult to do when you are physically apart. It’s hard enough when you first get married to learn the art of compromise and to share your once sacred space; much more so when the person you’re married to is only your companion a few times a month. . Perhaps you can gently suggest counseling on the premise that YOU’RE concerned about your future together and that you need her help in figuring some things out, so that she doesn’t feel cornered. If she refuses to go, then maybe you can go on your own so that you can better deal with your feelings. Best wishes to you guys!<BR>