<BR>the summary of the last year is that i started dating B in december of 99 -- we were together from then til end of august of 99 when i told him that in the spring i had slept with someone from work on two occasions -- right around the time that i actually became pregnant -- i never told B about the affair at that time - he stood by me as we went through the abortion not knowing although from a timing perspective there is no doubt in my mind that the baby belonged to B -- anyway, in september, i went away for a month and started therapy and then came home and conitnued my own therapy as well as started couples therapy with B -- we've been together a lot this fall pretty constant ups and downs good days and bad days - i've realized how my previous actions have destroyed his trust in me and us but also have realized that my behavior was just another example of self destruction (my therapist calls it "splitting") which started a long time ago - we are now "seeing other people" but don't want to leave each other - it's so hard to know what is the right thing to do - if we should walk away entirely, remain in our current state, or re-commit to each other (i don't think we could do that right now though because he doesn't trust me and in some ways i don't trust him) -- i want to figure it out - but i don't know if i can do that with him in my life -- or if he can resolve his anger with me still in his life (right now he admits he wants "retaliation" for the hurt he feels...)--- it's all so complicated and we are so young (he's 20 and i'm 24) -- the question is: is it all worth it? any advice would be helpful...