When I share with my girlfriend about things going on in my life such as dealing with former spouse, child custody, etc... she always starts telling me what I should do or what I should have done and so on. I hate that!<P>I talked with her today and told her that I just wanted her just to listen, support, encourage and show appreciation and admiration towards me in a respectful manner. I told her that I have people all day telling me what I should be doing and that when I come to her with problems that I'm not looking necessarily for judgmental solutions. I just need to vent and then have a pat on the back or an I love you and everythings going to be ok.<P>She got a little upset and said that she did not think that she was being the way I described. She also said it was hard for her to sit quietly and not express her opinions. She then terminated the phone call.<P>Am I asking too much? Love units are withdrawn at a high rate when she does this! Any advice is appreciated<P>

If you did not let your girlfriend know about her annoying behavior your relationship would be lacking honesty. You should tell her how you feel but be careful not to degrade her in the process. The telephone would not be my choice when it comes to discussions this sensitive. <P>“She also said it was hard for her to sit quietly and not express her opinions”<P>Sounds like she wants to be included in your life. Try to find ways that she can be and that will deposit love units. Also Dr Harley’s book Love Busters is an excellent book. Your relationship would probably benefit if you were both to read it.<P> <P><BR><P>------------------<BR>Scott

I know how your girlfriend feels. I'm currently dating a man who has an ex wife (no kids) who basically in my opinion treated him bad. The reason for the falling out was because of her infidelity. Commitment is very important to me and when I found out what she did, I looked down on her because I felt no matter how bad things are with the person you're with you should not turn to sleeping with an other person. <BR>Well, he is a better person than I am. He has forgiven her and has chosen to be friends with her. He is a great person who has a big heart and I know that it is just his way. Of course all of his buddies call his ex wife names and think he's an idiot for talking to her and if they were him they would have told the B off...etc. <BR>He feels he gets it enough from the guys and he shouldn't get it from me. Which he is right. It takes a lot of maturity to accept that he has an ex wife and that they have managed to remain friends. I have to admit it bothers me sometimes and I don't know why. He seems to think that I'm protective of him. He said he thinks that I know how bad he was hurt and I don't want to see him get hurt again. Just be patient with your girlfriend, I don't know if she feels the same way I do, but I understand. We can't explain why we feel the way we do all the time, but thank goodness he has enough patience with me. <BR>I don't know if I helped at all, but good luck and as long as you communicate and remain honest everything will be fine.