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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 22
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 22 |
I am a 50 year old divorced woman who has been dating a man (computer programmer) who lives 1+ hour from me. The first 5 months of our relationship was wonderful, but during the last 3 months, red flags have been popping up left and right. At first I ignored them, but lately I'm feeling like I need to pay attention (something I wasn't able to do in my last marriage). How do I know if they are really "red flags" or just my own "insecurities." At the moment, I'm graciously retreating from this relationship, but I'm feeling like this retreat has really hurt him (and he's on anti-depressants already!). Any adivce is greatly appreciated. Thanks!
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 311
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 311 |
Dear earthspell, It would help all of us to know what kinds of "red" flags you are seeing. I recommend to anyone who is considering a serious relationship to apply as many of Dr. Haleys principles as possible in the dating process. Finding out about each others emotional needs will speak volumns about each of your expectations in a marriage partner. Learning how to avoid love busting and implementing the Policy of Joint Agreement (POJA)will help to build a solid foundation for the relationship. If your companion is unwilling to explore these things with you that would be a huge "red" flag to me.<P>Mud <p>[This message has been edited by Mudder (edited July 10, 2000).]
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 22
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 22 |
Mudder,<BR>After I realized that I didn't send enough detail in my first reply, I went ahead and created a new, more detailed description and placed it in the "Divorced/Divorcing" topic section. Some of the "red flags" are described there. I've had quite a few replies and this kind of support is encouraging to me right now. Thanks for responding.<BR>Earth
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