I am planning to marry a man who has an ex-wife and one daughter. He is great until it comes to the ex. I love his daughter,too. Well this past weekend, was his daughter's (Meagan) 7 birthday. Meagan spend it at the beach with her cousin. Daddy gave her a card that both he and her mother signed and gave some money. I felt realllly left out. Should I have been upset? or is this just my parents breaking up and getting back together, breaking up getting back together making me parnoid?

It sounds as if your finace his ex have managed to remain a team in raising their daughter by giving gifts together to their child. This is far better then for them to compete for her affection by trying to out do the other person.<P>Yes it would have been nice if your were included but the gift was a gesture of love for their daughter not an attempt to make you feel left out. Would there have been any problem with you giving a little gift to the daughter yourself? Remember your are not this girls mother and not her father wife (yet). As long as your finance and his ex can remain a team in raising their daughter you should be cheering them on! I'm not sure what you mean when you say that your fiance is "great until it comes to his ex". From what you describe he seems to have a good relationship with his ex.<P>You need to remember that you are not just marrying this man but his ex and his daughter too. However, you are also kind of a fifth wheel in that relationship as well. Are your feelings rooted in some of your own abandonment issues from your childhood? That is quite possible.<P>Mud <>< <BR><p>[This message has been edited by Mudder (edited July 17, 2000).]