I couldn't think of another place to talk about this so I have chosen here.<P><BR>After my relationship broke down nearly 12 months ago I was a changed person... I no longer felt emotion and was happy to be on my own for the first time in my life.<P>I met someone about 6 months ago and we got on well... I have always been honest with her and told her how completely stuffed up I am when it comes to relationships, the fact I am not emotional and could quite easily spend the rest of my life on my own without any care of another person.<P>We got close and I have to admit she got closer than I did (I dont think I am capable of getting "that" close to a person now).<P>We sat down and talked about it and where we were going. I told her that I honestly thought it was not a good idea we were to be together because of how stuffed I am and that I would not wish to see her hurt as a result. She said to me that she would rather "give it a go" and that it failed than to never have tried and always wonder what would have been.<P>6 months has gone by, she has moved states to be with me (has her own apartment), brought her life out here and spends most of her time at my place. As she didn't know anyone here I have been very aware of the fact I am her only friend here and that without my company she would be lonely and at home with nothing to do. She has spent almost all evenings with me for this reason and we have now been in each others pockets for nearly 6 months straight.<P>She is also an insecure person having suffered a cheating husband and horrible divorce and so I have also stopped seeing all of my single female friends (platonic ones) and feel I have to include her in whatever I do.<P>All of a sudden everything seems to be "we" and I am feeling terribly closed in and my feelings have not come back again... nothing is different. I am starting to snap at her because we are together so much.<P>Last week we sat down and had a talk about this and I suggested perhaps we need to have some time on our own to break the habbits we were getting into... I even suggested she should try making friends so that I was not the only person she was relying on. I made sure I added the fact that I did not want to keep being snappy at her and I would rather we had the space to reduce that, than continue on making her feel bad.<P>Of course her insecurities cut in and to her it felt like her marriage all over again, and even the suggestion of me actually just meeting friends made her cry.<P><BR>The last thing in the world I want to do is hurt her, she is a wonderful person... but I just don't think I was built to have a relationship... I just dont have it in me to be part of one and I don't know what to do from here.<P>Telling her we are not working out would kill her... and after what she suffered with her ex-husband I can't do that... I have been supporting her emotionally through the extended damage of her divorce (he has been really nasty), supported her moving and provided her emotional support to get through a lot of things she said she couldn't have done without me... I am partly afraid that if I were to end it now it would only undo all the good work that has been done.<P>So what should I do? How can I approach a very nice and wonderful person and tell her that we have given it a chance as she wished and I don't feel anything has changed?<P>HELP!

Sounds like a very good friend of mine. My friend is in a state of severe depression. What she should do is get medical & psychological help, what she does is drain her friends to the point that we can't stand to be around her.<P>What I would do is to pick up with your friends, women & men. Make plans & tell her. Invite her to come along but don't feel responsible for being a go-between. What I mean is introduce her to your friends and acquaintances but don't shut yourself off from everyone and don't let her dictate your life-style.<P>Don't come straight home, do other things after work. Be strong about your convictions. Don't let the fact that she has cling-on issues change what you want & need to make you happy because otherwise you'll end up being very unhappy.<P>