I'm 23, and have been with my current boyfriend of 34 for going two years already. Though its only a short period, we've really went thru alot-i would say so much more than any other couple I personally know; And that is due to the miscommunication we've both had initially when we started dating as we both have VERY different communication styles. Me being the extreamly open, frank, let's-talk-it-out type and him being the totally clamed up kind due to a 10-year bad relationship with an ex-girlfriend. However, we still manage to work out all these differences and now, we are suppose to be this really happy, contented couple. He's now a changed man, more open, very loving, really cares , and he's like the best man I've ever had(honest-to-goodness). And the problem? I came to know a new man several weeks ago. What can I say? He is attractive, sexy, well-read, smart, nice and I happen to be a real sucker for those "initial-courtship-sweetness" crap!! I've already met up with this OM for like, 3-4 times for dates, went to his place once, did nothing much just chit-chat; BUT guess what? I went to his place again the other day-and we ended up getting very physically intimate(but no sex)!! Don't i hate myself... Ever since, I haven't been able to concentrate on anything....I feel like such a *****! Why do i have to go and ruin a relationship i've worked so hard for and built with my own hands?? And I'm just this mass of mess right now...AND guess what the surprise is? Is that me and my boyfriend are actually planning for marriage in about 2 years+ time, and he's really commited to us, to me. In fact, he kinda like sees me as his fiancee even though we are not really formally engaged or anything. And i refuse to be beaten by this OM, i refuse to be "moved", i just want to be happy and contented with my man; BUT i can't!!! I am just so vexed!! and this OM is not helping either by "calling-to-say-hi" almost everyday! I love my man, I do! and i hate myself for doing this to him and us! sorry for rambling, but i will really appreciate ANY advice at all....I cannot afford to lose my man..

Your so young...you have many years to discover who you are. Perhaps it would be in the best interest of all involved to break off your relationship. Go ahead and date, see where your heart leads you. I can honestly say that if you can bring yourself to be intimate be it kissing and beyond with someone other than your Significant other that your not ready for a committed relationship period. Please enjoy your singlehood, date, have fun. You'll be amazed at how much you'll learn about yourself,and what you truly value in a partner.<BR>good luck,<BR>r

I know exactly how you feel. When my husband and I were dating, I loved him very much, yet it always seemed as though I had one eye out for "other fish in the sea." It seemed like the longer we dated, the harder it was to focus on just us. We dated for 2 1/2 years, and I knew he was everything I could ever want, but towards the last few months of that period, I met someone else and cheated too.<BR>God, I'm sorry for that now. I don't have the perfect solution for you, but if he's everything you want, get married! I'm just 'not available' now and I never even look at anyone else. I'm committed. I never could look at dating as 'committed'. If you truly want to do some more looking around, then you need to be honest with your boyfriend. There's nothing worse than playing with someone's emotions, and you need to make up your mind and STICK WITH IT!