My fiance and I have been together for 5 years. We became engaged in early December and the wedding is October 14, 2000. The last few weeks have been terrible. We fight constantly and just last night he told me he sometimes wished he never would have asked. I am crushed. I want to give him all the time he needs to make the right decision, but we are pressed for time unfortunately. Everytime I try to discuss the issue, he becomes angry and won't even talk. I don't know what to do. I know it is normal to get "cold feet" but I have no idea how to handle the situation. Please help.

Why are you pressed for time? If at all possible, get some premarital counseling with a marital therapist. I have heard wonderful things about the Harleys. I wish I had found them a long time ago. Read his books too. Start now or it will not go away.

Weddings may seem hard to postpone, but truly it is much easier to postpone & change things now rather than later.<P>Postone the wedding, go to counseling, and be sure tht you are not making a mistake.<P>This may actually be a blessing...either helping resolve issues now and getting the marrige off on a better path from the beginning, or helping avoid a big mistake...<P>Good Luck!<P>Kathi

So many people put an extraordinary amount of time and effort in planning a wedding but not a merriage. I bet if you were to put all wedding stuff on hold and talked to your fiance you would be surprised at how much the two of you have missed out on each other since the planning began. I can't really blame anyone for being overwhelmed at planning awedding and getting down right sick of the whole thing. While it is a special day, it's still gone in 24 hours like every other day but what you're left with is what's special.<BR>My husband and I mutually chose everythign we did for our wedding. It wasn't for my girlfriends or our parents or anybody but us an dhis opinions counted equally. He had a vested interest and I did have to deal with constantly shoving color swatches and designs in front of him, or not being able to spend anytime with him because I had to meet with the caterers or go get a fitting. Either we did it together or put it off until we could. Your fiance probably misses the life you guys had before all this excitement. THAT was the life he loved so much that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you doing it. And then it all changed. Get back to where you two are all about each other.

Thank you everyone for your advice and comments. I have read Dr. Harley's book, "Give and Take" and it has helped tremendously. Most of all, I would like to say to trulyloved, you are so right. The wedding planning seemed to take over and the stress and pressure was more than either one of us thought it would be. We went away for the over the past weekend and it was wonderful. Just the two of us getting back to each other. Thank you all and I am so happy we were able to work things out.