We are taking a break from each other at<BR>my request. I see some issues that I feel are relationship breakers and do not wish to continue being with him. As of 1/1, we did break up but continued to e-mail through<BR>1/12. It is now official that we are not going to keep in contact until 2/9 to give a 40-day (from 1/1) break from each other. He wants to stay together and sees the changes<BR>that he needs to make and also agrees that there are changes that he needs to make. <P>Although I forgive him for remarks that he has said, I do not want to continue being<BR>with him. It is during the courtship that you date to figure out if you want to marry that person. We are not married and I<BR>made a difficult decision to break it off because I see some very potential toxic problems and needed to break it off.<P>I love him and do forgive him, but from my perspective, I do not want to continue. He (my now ex-fiance) wants to continue and says that he recognizes that he needs to change and has deep respect for Dr. Harley's books and gains much knowledge from them and has given me a verbal commitment that he will change and is now committed to being the best husband he can be for me. He wants to continue the counseling and move toward getting married this summer.<P>I don't trust the changes as we have been through this route several times in the last year. I see that pattern being repeated<BR>several times over now which is now why I just am unable to continue seeing him. I am at a loss as to how to handle this<BR>relationship at this point because of attending the seminar and believing in its concepts. Am I wrong for wanting to take a break? For breaking up totally even after attending the seminar?<P>I do not trust that the changes will be permanent because he is 47. Both of us have been married before. I have an issue of not being able to trust because of past experiences. Should I trust him that he will finally actually change when several attempts in the past have failed? Should I still marry him even if the habits continue? Am I making too much of a deal out of expecting Christian character to abound in his everyday lifestyle? <P>I want to marry someone who IS the person that I want him to be, not marry him for the potential that he has to be--that's the wrong thing to do. I think I need to accept him as he is right now. As I cannot do that at this time, this is why I feel that I need to have a total breakup and stop the cycle from continuing to repeat again and again.<P>So should I continue the relationship again or finally let it go for good?<P>Thanks for your thoughts.<P>
