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My stomach is starting to knot up, and I can feel a panic attack coming on. I'm afraid the roller coaster ride is about to begin again.<P>I have not seen or heard from H since last Wednesday night. He left a note for me which said he "had to resolve the problem & would see me in a few days".<P>I have another premonition that he is going to return tonight.<P>Please give me some advice. How should I act when he once again re-enters my life?<BR>I just have this really bad feeling. I need some uplifting, you can do this, atta-girl, talk. I am so afraid.
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Sid,<P>Why are you afraid? Is it emotional fear? You don't want to be hurt again? What??? <P>You should never be afraid... ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif) <P>~Sheryl<P>p.s. I came to check my thread, wasn't gonna get involved, but just can't pass up pain... I want to help!!<P>------------------<BR>Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you are among the stars!!
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Yes, I suppose, as hard as I've tried to not get my hopes up, I'm afraid he's going to come back, without a resolution. I guess I should just expect it.<P>But, what should I do when he returns? Knowing him, he won't volunteer any information. Should I ask him about it, or just pretend I didn't even read the note?<P>Part of me wants to leave, and stay with my friend, so I won't have to confront this, & make him wonder where I am. And, part of me wants to just ignore him, and make him think that I don't really care what he does any more (which more & more I'm starting to feel anyway).
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Joined: Aug 1999
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You make the choice, sidney. If you don't feel emotionally safe dealing with him, by all means go somewhere else. And my thought about expectations is this: expect nothing and you will be pleasantly surprised when you get something. It's cynical, but it saves your sanity.<P>Good luck tonight, and let us know what happens...<P>------------------<BR>Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you are among the stars!!
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You are so wise, Sheryl. I hope you will stay around awhile!
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Sidney, I just read your post.God How I hate those knots. My stomach is feeling the same way. Take a deep breath. If you don't want to see him don't be there. But if you are there, I would ask him after all he left it in the note and he knew you would read it. Sometimes, no all the time it is better to get it out in the open because are mind will run wild until we find out. I would rather know then to let my mind take control. Not knowing makes it worse on us. We have to take care of ourselves. Your stomach will be tied in knots until you know what is going on. I know from experience. I'm going to post an update about htis afternnon on my post. I don't think I could write it twice. Prayers are with you.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>
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sidney,<P>What did you decide to do???<P>Roll Me Away
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SDS- Thanks for your input Di. You're right, if he doesn't mention it, I will. Today, he should have run out of his anti-dep medication. I urged him last week, to make another appointment with the doctor to get a refill. He didn't. I really think the medication is affecting his sex drive (YEAH!!!) and that has him panicked. I wonder what will happen when he stops the medication cold turkey?<P>RMA- I decided to stand my ground. I'm not going to let him run me out of my home. So far, it's a moot point, as he hasn't returned yet.
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This is smart. I have learned something off these posts this weekend - think about and anticipate what my next encounter with H will be like and plan how I want to handle it if it goes well or not.<P>You have time to think about what he might say to you - that it is over with OW, or that he is still working on resolving it, or that he is giving up on the marriage, or whatever these crazy guys come up with. You sound pretty grounded and clear in how you are going to handle things. I admire your strength!!<P>Keep us posted as the story unfolds...<P>Roll Me Away
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RMA- thanks, so much. Anticipating my reaction to the various possibilities, is something I hadn't even considered. Then again, I was never very good at chess!
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