My wife and I got married last July. I am the first guy she has been with as far as sex or intimacy. She has only had one boyfriend before me and they were not really intimate. I on the other hand had sex with two different partners. One of those partners became a good friend after we broke up. 6 years later I meet my wife and she did not seem to have a problem with it at all. Shortly after we were married we started to have fights about my ex-girl friend so I stopped talking to her so I could make are marriage work. My wife still has problems with the fact that she was/is not the only person to have been with me and feels cheated because of this. She is also hurt because I shared feelings with someone else before her. She gets extremely mad and withdrawn just about everyday now and keeps asking why I did it. I tell her that I just gave in to my sexual drive and that I am sorry for not waiting for her. What else can I do? She says that it's not the fact so much that I kept talking with my and being friends with my ex as much as I had sex without loving that person. When we first started to fight I tried to mask the problem in hopes that it would just go away. It had the opposite effect it just grew and grew and now she can't get it out of her head. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it might help you both if you could get into counselling to resolve this before it gets worse.Maybe if you can talk about it with a third party, you might get to the bottom of her feelings without fighting or feeling resentful.<P>Maybe she feels insecure that you might do it with someone else you do not love, maybe thats her deepest fear. But you need to talk about it without fighting to try and resolve those feelings before they drive you apart.<P>Good luck<BR>

i was in the same position...my husband had sex with three of his girlfriend, i had a boyfriend before i met my husband but never got intimate. He told me about it early in our relationship and i didn't really have a problme with it..it kinda bothered me but i thought it was "pretty normal". After we got married one of these irls contacted him..she now has a child and is enganged but it still bothered me that he started writing emails with her...then there were days were he was a little less afectionate than normal...and i really jsut mean a little. and i would wodner if it was becasue of that contact again...<BR>i had a hart time with it too...i need reasurance from him that i was the one he loved. the only one..i reallyw anted to know that he enjoyed our intimacy more than with any of these girls..this all happend after we were marreid for a couple of month... we did go into counseling...but this wasn't really teh reason..it did come up though and it helepd me a lot when my husband showed me that i was the only one he thought about.<BR>he shared a lot of his feelings with me..like a bad day at work, and i knew that it wasn't ebcasue of anyting esle...<BR>communication is really important. <BR>is your wife open to go for cousneling? <BR>maybe you guys could find a counselor together, and she could go alone the first time... that's what i did...it really helped me a lot.<BR>good luck to you two!