A month ago I left my fiance, we'd been together for 7 yrs and where going to be married in two months. We where both scarred and have been apart for 2 months becuase of work. I felt so confused and unsure of our future that I sabotaged it by sleeping with another women. I suffered incredible depression and self loathing that drove me to break up with her. I felt she'd be better off wihtout me, if I'd do such a horrible thing. I didn't even talk about my feelings with her I just dumped her, which sent us both into the worst pain of our lives. Then she called a week ago and we told each other we loved each other and I told her I was sorry and want to work it out. She syas she's trying to move on and put the pain behind her, I told her why I broke up with her, but not about the other women. I want to but I can't stand to hurt her anymore. What can I do to earn her trust again. I can't believe that a couple of weeks of doubt led to one terrible night that has ruined our life together. I don't have any doubts, I want to live my life to bring her happiness and to grow together. We're both miserable but she's afraid I'll hurt her again. Her friends are telling her not to take me back, they used to love me but know they despise me. I could really use some advice, I talk to her about it but I need help from someone with experience.

i think the best thing you could do is to tell her what led to you breaking up with her. she is probably very confused about why you so abruptly changed your mind and although it will hurt her to know the truth it will possibly alleviate some questions she has. maybe if you tell her although it will hurt you both it will allow you to work on getting passed it and moving on.

You have to tell her about your "one-night stand." If you do not tell her about that and you successfully get back together it will eat you apart knowing that you have been dishonest on such an important issue. I know this because my wife went through the same thing as you. She also cheated prior to us being married. She kept this a secret for 13 years. During this time she suffered from depression and contemplated divorce because of her indiscretions. You don't know how badly I wish she would have told me about this prior to us getting married. Not because I would not have married her, but because we would have been able to deal with it 13 years ago. Finding out about her cheating now made me feel that she did it within our marriage. Obviously, her revelation has caused some damage to our marriage, but in a strange way it has made it stronger.<P>I cannot stress how important it is that you two enter into marriage with no secrets. Especially a secret that undermines all what marriage stands for. You may or may not get your fiance back, but at least you will have honestly tried. Good luck.