Well, I am now engaged to a man that I fell in love with. My love for him is so strong, I love him as much as my own life. But does my fianceé truly love me? Let me explain why I question his love. We have been having some serious dilemmas that we can't agree on. He wants me to do something that would go against my conscience, but to him that "something" is not wrong. People keep on telling me that he has not being considerate of my feelings. One thing that bothers me is that he is in some ways like my father. My father had never had respect for my mother, forced her to do things that went against her conscience, controlled almost every aspect of her life, and thought of his own feelings and interest more than his own wife. I had the courage to ask my father if he ever truly loved my mother and he kindly told me "Yes". He even explained to me the true meaning of love and he was right. But I still wonder if he truly loves my mother. My mother taught me that principled love that is recorded at 1 Corinthians chapter 13, saying that love is patient, long-suffering, kind, does not look for its own interest, etc. That kind of love is everlasting. She loved my father so much and stuck with him through thick and thin for more than 30 years, no matter how hard it was to be married to my father. That kind of love is what kept them together. But my question is does my fianceé truly love me? And I wonder if he can only love me as much as he can love any woman. There are many wonderful qualities about my man. I am deaf, and my fianceé took great efforts to be able to communicate with me well, and that is something that very few men would be willing to do. He tells me how much he loves my qualities, the way I am. We both are very good at expressing our feelings and opinions with each other, which my parents almost never did. And he stuck with me no matter how hard things were for us, and I admire him for that. But he is so much like my father, and I wonder if he truly loves me. Maybe I am overreacting. I don't know. I've always doubted my father's love my mother, and I am now doing the same with my fianceé. Can you tell me what you think about this? I would appreciate it. Thanks.

How exactly is he being like your father? what does he do or say? By what you've said, he has been there with you in thick and thin so far. Even learned to communicate with you. Unless he is cheating on you, or not giving you attention, or neglecting your needs, than he is not doing anything wrong. True love is doing what you can to make your partner happy, to a certain extent(self boudaries). I do almost anything for my wife, and that is true-love.

I've been around a while and I would like to make an observation. I think premarital counseling should be much more involved than what my x and I went through. <P>I would recommend long hard looks at both families of origin. See, I married a man who said and did all the right things. And he turned out to be, long down the pike, a carbon copy of my father with whom I had a very non-communicative relationship. Who could tell me nothing complimentary. who could meet very few of my emotional needs.<P>I think love is wonderful. And love is necessary in a marriage. But look at those families of origin. Yours and his. and if you see problems, you have things to work on. <P>Just my 2 cents.<BR>