I'm new here and a little afraid of how I will be received. You see, I was both a betrayer and the other man.<P>I was not the one to end the relationship, but she. She has been maintaining a strict no contact policy that's been excruciating.<P>I read the first couple of chapters of "Surviving the Affair" last night. I was horrified. Sue and Greg's story could very well have been ours! The difference being that I too am married.<P>After months of trying to improve my marriage, I finally came to believe that my wife was not a bad person, but just not capable of meeting some important needs.<P>I never intended to have an affair. In fact, I refused to admit that it was an affair (no sex) until the day before she wanted to end it. However, no mere friendship can cause the PAIN and depression I've been feeling for the past few days. <P>I'm here because I want to let go and go back to my marriage and rebuild. Am I in the right place?

Apollo13,<P>There are many betrayers here - I am both betrayer (2 yrs. ago) and betrayed (now). You are definitely in the right place. You are on a road that winds, twists, double backs and is full of pot holes!! You will find alot of support here. Keep reading - Dr Harley's books and others yo will see recommended here.<P>Best of Luck to you...<P>Roll Me Away<BR>

Thanks for the assurances, RMA. Sorry about the blank profile, guys. I'll fill it in when I get the time and opportunity. My kids LIVE on the computer.<P>Lately, I've felt alot like my name implies - I'm crippled on the dark side of the moon and all I want to do is go home...

Welcome to the Marriage Builders - Infidelity Forum.<P>The people here represent both betrayed spouses and betrayers alike and the occasional Other Woman/Man/Person (OP/OW/OM). You fit the bill here <BR><B>All</B> of us are really here to try and build or rebuild our marriages... and we are trying to use principals and concepts that are espoused by Dr. Willard Harley of Marriage Builders(MB).<P>There is a wealth of information here at this site, starting from the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/" TARGET=_blank>Marriage Builder's Home Page</A>.<P>If you're new to the ideas being presented here at MB start off with <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3000_intro.html" TARGET=_blank>Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts</A><P>Many of us need to start immediately working on our marriages and a <B>sound</B> understanding of <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A and Plan B</A> is crucial!<P>You'll see a barrage of "terms" which you might guess the meaning of... but an alternative is to look up what they mean at this site... Words like (click on them to find out):<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Busters</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3200_love.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Bank</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>Emotional Needs</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3550_give.html" TARGET=_blank>Giver and Taker</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3500_policy.html" TARGET=_blank>The Policy of Joint Agreement(POJA)</A>.<P>You'll need to learn more about, not just marriage building... but self building too! The learning isn't going to happen overnight though... look at the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8100_article.html" TARGET=_blank>Articles</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5525_qa.html" TARGET=_blank>Infidelity Q&A</A>.<BR>The real learning is best aided by obtaining some of the books from the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6000_bookstore.html" TARGET=_blank>MB Bookstore</A>... You've already gotten and started reading <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank>"Surviving An Affair"</A> by Dr. Willard Harley. This is the cornerstone text. Read it thoroughly!<BR>Other books can be very useful as well... like <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6020_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>"His Needs, Her Needs"</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6030_love.html" TARGET=_blank>"Love Busters"</A>.<BR>There will be many other good books that the MB people will recommend... take their advice... they've been around.<P>But most of all... you will find <B>compassion</B> and <B>love</B> here. No judging... no demeaning... no malice here! Even for the OP (in many cases the wayward spouse <B>is</B> an OP!<BR>The people here have all had their lives thrown into a whirlwind of despair, confusion, and sadness.<BR>We've all experience gut wrenching emotions that we though could never exist, in anyone's idea of humanity.<BR>Feelings of hatred, love, disillusionment, envy, rejection, emptiness, <B>deep depression</B>, and on and on...<P>But just the books and facts aren't going to get you through it all... not without <B>support</B>. That's where <B>we</B> come in! <B>We</B> care... because <B>we</B> know how it feels. Believe it... <B>You are <I>not</I> alone</B>! <BR>Come to this forum to vent... to cry... to laugh (a little)... to express your feelings... to advise others... or just to get away!<BR>Your probably going through H*!! right now... don't go it alone... remember... <B>you are <I>not</I> alone</B>! Whether betrayer or OP.<P>There is never any guarantee to save all marriages... life doesn't work that way, unfortunately.<BR>We can, and do guarantee, to give you help... to build back many vital aspects of your life and sanity. <P>Post... Post... Post... Reply... Reply... Reply... READ! READ! READ!<P>I've been speaking in behalf of some dear friends... as well as some complete strangers too..., when I've used <B>"we"</B>!<BR>But... if you're here... join in with them... they <B>will</B> join in with you. <P>Jim<BR>---------------------------------<BR>Where two or more are gathered...

Apollo,<P>Welcome and you are in the right place.<P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<BR>

Apollo,<BR> you're definitely in the right place. I too am new here, and already can see that there is no judging, just open feedback. I also am a betrayer, didn't want to admit it until I realized I'd rather spend time with the OM than my H. However, want to see if my marriage can work the way I need it to and so I have found this place. You may not agree with everything, but go in with an open mind and heart.