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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5 |
We are married for a year, early thirties and knew each other 8 months prior to marriage.<P>Two months before we were engaged my husband went abroad on a two week business trip and saw his ex one on one. Although he told me prior to leaving that he will see his old buddies and her and they will go out in a group he never told me that he will see her one on one. This came as a big surprise to me. He did not communicate that they were close friends and it did not enter my mind that he still visits her because he never spoke about them being friends.<P>Obviously this topic has been a problem from the start. Because he never told me about her I asked him to communicate what happend in their 6 months relationship and why they broke up.<P>He came clear with all previous relationships including theirs which lasted six months. He told me she cheated on him a couple of times and told me about an incident where she went on a trip and came back and told him that she was ooling around with someone. He said at that stage he did not care anymore, because he was leaving abroad permanently in a couple of months and remained in this relationship. <P>He told me they had a shallow relationship and that he did not love her and that she was convenient.<P>I tried to talk to him a couple of times about the fact that she cheated on him. I cannot understand why he would make an effort to see her as a friend if she cannot even be trusted in a relationship. He does acknowledge that she indeed cheated on him, but denies ever teling me about that particular incident. He even tells me now I am making this up to cause a rift in our marriage.<P>Now I am really stunned. First he remembers it, tell me about it and then later represses it? Why is this topic so traumatic for him to block it out of his mind. And how can I help him? I told him exactly what he told me, and I remember everything he told me because I have a very sharp mind and excellent memory but he can still not remember. Help!. <P>
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