I've posted on this site before, but what I'm experiencing now is different. I am recently married, about 2 months now and I love my husband dearly. We lived together for almost 4 years before we were married, needless to say we had many ups and downs during our engagement. Now, things that bothered me a little bit before bother me alot now. For instance, communication is a problem. He never seems to want to talk about anything, at least not anything important, unless it has to do with himself or his work. He seems only half interested in my work, and my interests for that matter! I can tell when he doesn't want to talk, he'll start joking around or try acting funny and doesn't take me seriously. A typical day is that we come home from work, and he sits down in front of his computer all evening or silently watches TV. When I try to open up by telling him how I feel he tells me its irrelevant and I tend to talk too much. I "ramble on and on", according to him. Another issue is I'm really into traveling more in the future and wanting to get more invloved with my church and he's admitted he's not interested in doing those things with me. We don't have as much in common as we used to. He also wants a baby right now and I'm not ready for that either. (we're 8 years apart). We hardly talk about finances, home-buying, our feelings, everything that I consider important topics of communication in a marriage! I'm beginning to think I made a mistake in marrying him. But I'm scared to admit that because I do love him and we love each other's families and we have so much history. He tells me he loves me but how? My emotional needs are clearly NOT being met and when I tell him this it goes in one ear and out the other. I feel like I'm the only one trying. I don't think I'm a priority in his life. I know everyone says the first year is the hardest but I want to try and come to a resolution before we bring children into the picture!

you are right! Do not bring children into this marriage until everything is under control. That would not be fair to you, or your childern.<BR>Was your husband like this while you were dating? I mean did he listen to you and your feelings prior to being married? If not, then why did you marry him? Did you think it would get better if you married? Has he really changed all tha much in the 2months you've been married?<BR>I have similar feelings as you have described. I dated my husband for a while before marriage and the little things never seemed to bug me, but now that we are married they DO! I have a theory, my theory is..when we were dating, things didn't bother me as much, because I told myself that if it really got on my nerves I could just leave and to hell with him. But now I can't. I have married this man and the things he does that drive me crazy are here to stay and I no longer have the option to just walk out and start new. This is permanent! I think this is why things bother us more when we are married.<BR>I have to tell you, communication is KEY. My husband and I went threw a similar problem. At about 6 months into our marriage, I felt he didn't listen or pay attention. He was always on his computer or too busy talking about himself. It drove me crazy and finally I told him face blank, that we were NOT going to work or last if he didn't listen to what I had to say or how I felt and then took them in concideration. Don't take his joking when you are talking to him, you have to get through to him that you are serious about feeling neglected. If he won't listen, then maybe you did marry the wrong person. Communication is Key.<BR>Counceling would by my suggestion, although he may not be keen on the idea. I wish you luck.