I've been marreid for 2 and ahalf years.My husband lived like a single guy.He never cleaned house,he never cared bout what he looked like and he went to his frends house every year for his vacation to go hunting.Myself lived very clean and organized apartment.I knew how he lived before we had gotten married,but I wanted to give him achance.Hoping he would change.I have even given in half way.He has not.I am constantly cleaning.Because I don't want his family to think I live in a pig pen.I also have children from a previous marriage.I want to set a good example for my kids.I stay stessed out becauase I don't know what to do.I have given up on what I want and like.Because I figure whats the use in wanting fix things up.He want care if he makes a mess.I d gotten a new living room set last year.I thought maybe he'll try and keep it nice.But he doesn't he just sits dowm on it when his filthy.I had always taken realy good care of everything I had.But I don't think he ever has.From the the way he lives now.My care was always clean,now its filthy.I' really tired of trying.No one really undersad until they have lived in my shoes.I feel nasty all the time I never felt like that before.I've gotten to point that I don't care what I look like.PLease help me figure out what to do.I can't live like this anymore.But I don't know what to do.If he truly loved me he would try and change a little at least ,But he doesn't.I pray everyday for guidance and strength.I even was at peace with myself,but now I'm not anymore.I know that I need to get away fora weekend.But I know that if I do,I what want to come back.I've left before for abut two weeks and I thought he would try and change ,but he didn't.THe only reason I came back was because my mother made me mad from something she said.If I had only stood my ground then and not just get mad and go back to him.I was atthe point of straightig out my life.I had a good job.I was startig to feel good about myself again.But I mess up and came back.It took alot for me to live in the first place.I do care about him.I always have and I don't want to hurt him.What should I do.HELP!

Ok, first of all take a deep breath here..... You sound pretty desperate and I feel you need to be clear-headed before you start making all sorts of decisions. Firstly, have you tried sitting down with him and explaining to him that his not wanting to participate in household duties doesn't make you angry because you are a neat person and he isn't? That the reason it bothers you it's because you feel that it's disrespectful of your feelings, that you don't feel appreciated and cherished. A compromise it's all you need here, and I feel you are not really fighting about cleanliness here, so clean your own closet, meaning start with your soul, and face the real issues of this relationship. If it turns out that it is indeed cleanliness or lack thereof then get a maid to help you. Don't go destroying your marriage because of it. However, I do feel your not been completely open as to what else is really going on in your marriage.<p>Good Luck to you, keep me posted!