Hello I am new here. But I have a serious problem. I have the desire to cheat on my fiancee Jeff and hurt him the way he has hurt me. He has not cheated on me <p>Here is my story:
Jeff and I have been together since July 16, 2000. Neither one of use were really looking to get into a comitted relationship, but it was love in the first two weeks and we did not want to loose eachother so we decided to go forth. Things were good for awhile, we gave eachother the necessary space at the same time feeling eachothers needs. Sometime between Ocotober and November his sex drive went down and he would not have sex with me. Well, he would not make sex the priority, i.e. if I told him I was in the mood and did the necessary things to get it going. He would go visit a neighbor. I started talking to this guy, well call him Brian, and he was everything a girl could want in a man, tall, dark, handsome, caring, financially secuire then some, he was very much attracted to me and we got into some close occurences, but I did not want to strat, I told Jeff about Brian and took two weeks off work to be with him (Jeff) in December 2000 and he left and went up North to his studio after promissing he would make up the lack of sex. In January he promised to turn his life around, we got a place together, things were good. We got engaged in February we were the couple our family and friends envied. Well in April of 2001 I found out I was 2 months pregnant. He was in shock but happy, I wasn't to happy at the time, I became pregnant on the pill and I was worried about finishing college and work. I was laid off work 2 weeks later, Jeff took over all the bills including my car and I guess he felt since he was doing so, I lost all rights in the relationship. Soon name calling, crazy outbursts etc. started up. We have been on a relationship roller coaster, well in Jaunary he was laid off work. Without my knowledge had taken up saling weed near our place, the cops found out and searched our home and I was under investigation with my child. I am in shock this has all happened but I know why he did all this, to secure us finacially. Maybe I am an idiot, but I understand the reason was to help us, but he lied to me and I would have helped by getting a job or something. I heard from Brian 3 days ago, it's been over a year. I told him about the baby, I was still with Jeff, but all these feeling came ruching back. Brian and I have not done anything together. But I want to be treated good again, loved in every way. Jeff and I continue to argue, I feel betrayed but I love him and cant seem to let go.
