I am living with my boyfriend for almost three years. Right at the beginning of our relationship I lied to him about my ex-husband and been unfaithfull one weekend. Although he suspected my cheating, I've assured him that it was not true. At the beginning I did not think our relationship would last because we are very different. However, time has passed and we both totally fall in love, we were best friends, and would support each other in evey possible thinkable way. It was the perfect relationship for these past 2 1/2 years (no cheating no lies). We were planning on spending our lives together... an so on...
until 2 weeks ago when he found some papers that uncovered one of my lies and he confronted me. At this point I told him all the truth and confessed my infidelity. I feel very bad for all the pain that I've caused him, and I would do anything to help him deal with this. He is very hurt. Although he has not left me yet, he thinks he will at some point. I feel desperate and I don't know what to do. I truly love him, and I want to recover my relationship. However, he can't forgive me, and he says that he feels worse as days go by. <p>Does my relationship have any hope? <p>Thanks for any insight.

Ingrid, Wow your story hits really close to home for me. I found out about a vacation fling that my wife had before we were married. I had believed many years of lies about it, then found proof in some old film negatives. I thought about leaving. That was a year ago. I feel a little better now but it still hurts a lot. I hope things work out for you. Sam

i with held info about my single days before we were married for 12 years,
what did it take for my husband to get over it?
Well, seperation for 9 months, he fell out of love with me, could not trust, our marrage was nothing because it was based on lies,oh and an affair.<p>i felt what happened before we were married was dead and gone, and i did not want to hurt him, well it ended up hurting not only him, but our 3 children and myself!<p>We are back together, doing much better than a year ago, but with extra baggage... his affair.<p>Now i am having to deal with that... anf it is not eazy or fun. <p>It does not matter how honest you have been threw your relationship, to him you have lied about somethings there will always be more... that is how my H. felt.<p>and his having an A. to him made us equel. I did wrong, he did wrong, back to square one.<p>Good luck... it will be a long road but it can be traveled!!!!!

Thanks for your comments. It's been almost two weeks since I told him the truth. He is feeling really bad and he just told me that he wants to get away for some time. He wants to take a vacation somewhere so he can get himself together and decide weather he will stay or leave. I feel that his 'vacation' is the first step for getting away from me. He also said he can't forgive me and the only way he would feel better is if I felt the same way he is feeling... I guess he wants to say that it would be fair if he had an A, which I honestly think is not the right answer nor choice.<p>I am very very sorry, and very frustrated because I feel there's almost nothing I can do to help this relationship survive.