I have been with my W for 7 years been married for 4 this month. I have been a [censored] to her and done some really meesed up ****. I having been seein g a conselour for about 4 mo now. Yesterday we fought about something that I said I was going to do but didn't untill the last minute now she says she is fed up (I don't blame her) but I need her and I need to be with our children and I don't want to loose her and I don't want to be a 2nd time looser. (was married before) I have the best of intensions but I slipp up alot and I don't really talk to her and she says thatI have no personality and I am inconsiderate(don't blame her there either). I have been trying to make things easier on her but I feel that everything that I do does not do any good. I have lied to her about money and places that I have been but I haven't been unfaithful because I have no desire to. I love her and want to be with her and she says that I have puts us here and she is not going to do anything until she see change in me which I feel that I have change from what I used to be but she says that I haven't. Please help <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Hey, Scott. Welcome to MB. You have found an awesome place for support, advice and guidance.

You sound like a man who is ready to turn over a new leaf. You also sound like a couple who would really benefit from reading Dr. Harley's book, His Needs, Her Needs. It's an awesome book that helps you to understand one another and what each of you needs emotionally in your relationship.

You have already identified that your wife needs you to rebuild trust. Not going to be easy since you admit you have lied to her. But it's not too late, either! That's the wonderful thing!

Stop believing you are a loser and a surprising thing will happen--you will see that you have a winner inside of you and your wife will see it, too!

Start living in the truth--even when the consequences are painful. Tell your wife how you are feeling. Romance her--this may not make sense to you but it doesn't have to be about sex--it should be about letting her know how precious she is to you--that you don't want this marriage to fall apart because you do love her and your children.

Keep posting. Read the articles and all the "newby" stuff. Although you have the enviable record of being faithful to your wife, you will be able to relate to the rebuilding trust issue.

You are about to meet a lot of awesome friends here. And hopefully you are writing a brand new chapter--a much happier one than before!

Take care!

'Nuff Said!

Awesome advice Fresh Start <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />