Hi Everyone,

This is my first time posting on this board... I don't know if I actually need help or not, but I've been thinking about this stuff so much.

My husband and I dated for three years and got married just over 2 months ago. I love him very much. He's a very patient and easy going man... I consider myself very lucky.

My problem seems to be adjusting to the idea of being married. Everyone asks me - "How's married life!" and I laugh and say "Great, no difference really". But I do feel different. For instance, if he does something to get on my nerves, I automatically think "Oh MY God, I have to put up with this for the rest of my life"... is it normal to have these thoughts? I find myself thinking, almost grieving, old relationships. This is so bizarre because those relationships were so distructive at the time... and I was so happy to get out of them when I did. I find myself being snappy and quick with my new husband. And I find myself picking apart his personality. I feel so guilty about this. How can I adjust a little better? Any suggestions?

Eva, welcome to MB. What a wise woman you are to seek help here BEFORE things are too late.

You are experiencing perfectly normal transitional adjustments!! Who knew the man let his socks pile into Mount Everest or insert irritating habit here? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

These days, brides are so enthralled about the actual wedding that is planned and planned and dreamed of and then gone all too quickly. Relationship-building is overlooked.

Dr. Harley's book, His Needs, Her Needs might be just what the doctor ordered for you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> It explains what a husband and wife need from one another emotionally and helps you establish a good basis for a lifetime together.

Don't be afraid to gently share with your husband what is difficult for you and be open to hear what he is struggling with, too.

The old relationships are just that..OLD..the past. Enjoy today with your wonderful husband that you obviously fell deeply enough in love with to commit to for life.

It will get better. It's a huge adjustment learning to share everything every moment. The first year is the toughest. But it's so worth the effort! You will learn so much about yourself as well as your H.

Hang in there!

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Eva2002:
[QB]Hi Everyone,

Hi Eva,

First of all congradulations on your marriage...and welcome to Marriage Builders.

I think what you are feeling is quite normal...but do not ignore those feelings. Rather examine them and resolve them.

You have found a place here that will teach you to build a wonderful marriage. Yes it takes a great amount of work to do that...but it doesnt
have to joyless work..rather work that you both do that will be the most richly rewarding thing you can do for each and for the rest of your lives.

Most people get here to this site (me for example) after its to late. Read some of the stories on the discussion boards and you can see how painfull and sad a relationship left untended can become.

Yes get the book "His Needs Her Needs" and study every thing available on this web site. And not just you ...it takes two to make a great marriage or to destroy a great marriage. You are so lucky to be here to solve problems before they become relationship killers.

Best of luck to you and your husband.

Try posting in Emotional Needs ...there are more people at that board.

I wish you and your husband a great life together.

Love and Light

Randy