Hello,
I am a young woman getting married in couple weeks. My fiancé is absolutely wonderful, and has been an incredible support and encouragement to me throughout our friendship, dating, and engagement periods.
Recently a small issue has arisen between his parents and us. His mother was doing a few things which directly concerned us behind our backs, and when bringing up the issue with her, she completely denied her actions. We did not think it was a huge deal, but knew that the issue needed to be addressed and dealt with before the wedding. My fiancé and I tried to deal with this matter with gentleness and respect, but his parents blew it way out of proportion, calling us names, and ultimately blaming me for the problem that my fiancé’s mother in fact started.
When attempting to discuss this problem and other topics that followed suite, his parents (father in particular) would cut me off with yelling and accusations when I was trying to talk things through calmly and rationally. I was constantly politely saying “excuse me… may I please continue”, and then have them cut me off moments later again with more shouting and finger pointing. Finally, I started crying and stated that this was rude and I would not take it, and left the room.
They informed my fiancé that I need to apologize for having such “disrespect” towards them. I, being someone younger than they, should never think I have the right to speak if they decide to interrupt me. The father is apparently disgusted, that me, a woman would voice her opinion contrary to that of him and his wife, and that I have no place is speaking on issues that concern my fiancé and I. In the future I am supposed to let my fiancé do the talking and defending, and apologize for being so “disrespectful” for being my independent thought. His parents have also contacted his sister, who has begun harassing me with emails, informing me that I am “unbelievably rude”, “immature” and “disrespectful” to her parents and asks me “are you for real?” His father told me that if I don’t watch my steps in his family he will take me “to the mattresses”.
It is not my nature to be rude or disrespectful. I have talked to my friends and family who know me about this, and they confirm that my future in-laws accusations against me are false. Yet, even though my fiancé supports me and reminds his parents it was they who were acting rude, they insist that unless I apologize and change why ways (to basically become a brainless wife), or my relationship with them cannot continue. They have even threatened not to come to the wedding.
What do I do? How do I handle them?
