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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 7 |
My husband and I have been together for 4 years and married for 2. In the beginning of our relationship, I knew I was the one to fall in love first. However, after a while he told me that he was in love also and wanted me to marry him. Well here I am 2 years later. I found out last night that he is not in love with but married me because he thought I was a good woman and he said that no one has treated the way I do.
I told him that I was very upset that he lied to me and that he didn't tell me. He told me that he loved me but was not in love and knew that eventually he would fall. Well, I don't believe that one bit and now I want out. He told me that he wants me to stay with him and work it out. He says that he believes we can be good together. I feel like I was deceived. Please help!
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 7 |
I would sugguest marriage counseling. I think if you wouldn't try it you would regret it later on. My husband and I almost divorced last year I even moved out but my H convinced me to try counceling here at Marriage builders. It definately helped-without it we would not still be together! We are still working through things though.
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 7 |
I thought of one more thing-
Sometimes if emotional needs are not being met people think that they were never "in" love with their spouse. I know I felt that way. But I truly did love my H when I married him it was just that the feelings of love seemed to vanish because my emotional needs were not being met.
Have looked at the emotional needs and love busters? If you go through those together that could help! It helped my H and myself and we still use the questionairres about every three months to monitor how we are meeting each others needs. I hope this helps!!
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 248
Member
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Member
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 248 |
Dear structure, YOur husband married you because he had respect for you and wanted to be with you. He doesn't want the marriage to break up. You really have a lot going for you. According to Harley, if you fulfill his top 5 emotional needs he will be madly in love with you. Both of you must fill out the questionaires in the back of his books or perhaps on the site and share the answers with your spouse. Learn to fulfill each other's emotional needs. Many men have using the word "love" since they don't understand it. It seems that you husband really does love you.
All the best, mengott
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 248
Member
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Member
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 248 |
Dear structure, YOur husband married you because he had respect for you and wanted to be with you. He doesn't want the marriage to break up. You really have a lot going for you. According to Harley, if you fulfill his top 5 emotional needs he will be madly in love with you. Both of you must fill out the questionaires in the back of his books or perhaps on the site and share the answers with your spouse. Learn to fulfill each other's emotional needs. Many men have trouble using the word "love" since they don't understand it. It seems that you husband really does love you.
All the best, mengott
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