Ok..this is my very first post on here, so bear with me. I met my fiance back in August 2002, we became engaged just recently in March. My problem is this, while we were dating we were intimate, although we only had sex a couple of times, I felt we were more intimate. Prior to our engagement my fiance (who is very spiritual and religious) announced she wanted to wait now until marriage before we have sex. I went along with this but now I'm finding it to be a struggle. I find that I obsess over this daily. sometimes I wonder if she is truly attracted to me. When we talk about this, she tells me that she wants our sexual relationship to be special and only within marriage. I guess the problem I'm having is the lack of intimacy, I feel unloved sometimes, even when we hold one another..I feel a loss of something.
I love my fiance with all my heart, but I wonder how we she could just cut off being intimate with me, all in the name of morality. One more point, we are both 31..not quite youngsters..lol

Hi Bryant:

Put things in perspective. You are 31 now and preparing to get married, I assume, within the next year; right? Your marriage, "till death do you part", will last, God-willing, 50 + years. Can you not wait this one year in order to build a foundation for something to last 50 + years?

By not waiting, you may be trading sexual relief today for a lifetime of something much more meaningful. I respect your fiance`s opinion. She is building your relationship upon solid rock.

The "love of my life" and I, beginning at age 17, focused right away on the physical and we never built a spiritual foundation. We were married for 17 years, and now, sadly, it all has come to an end; divorced 14 April 2003. If I had it to do it over again, I would have learned to Love and be Loved using my soul rather than my body.

Wishing you and your fiancè happiness,

Doug In Finland

thank you for the reply. Your opinion was very thoughtful and made an excellent point. It's difficult abstaining from sex, but I would love the idea of spending fifty years or more with my fiance. Perhaps the sacrafice, if you could call it that, will be benfecial towards building a strong foundation. We will see...best of luck towards you and God Bless...
Russ