Hi, as the name would suggest, I've recently been dumped (2 weeks ago).
I still love this girl deeply and want her back. We have meet since on a few occasions and still get on really well. But she insist that we can only be friends. This, I think, is because she's seeing someone else. Which, as you can imagine, I'm rather broken up about.
Circumstances when we broke up were not good. I wasn't happy with my life and how it was going. I lost my driving licence last february and so we couldn't go out much.
We were together for 10 months. She is 19 and I'm 28, so there is an age gap there but we seem to operate on about the same level. Her parents don't think I'm good enough for her and so they've banned me from visiting her at home. I should add that this ban was unprovoked.
I could accept being friends if it didn't hurt so much.
The question I am asking is this. In the experiences of anyone reading this, has anyone gone from being in an ok (not great) relationship, to friendship and then managed to rekindle the love and made the relationship work?
I'm sure it can be done but I also don't want to delude myself and feeling really bad when it all goes wrong (if it does)

Where do I start. OK to answer your Q yes, it can start again, but really, this sounds doomed for a while.

At 28 you should be dating someone older. A 19 year old needs time to grow. If you really do love her, let her go. Let her go to school and live life. In about 6-7 years she will be ready and you can come around again, but let her go.

I was in exactly the same situation years ago-dating a much older man. I was not ready, he would not give me space so I cut off all contact. He really wouldn't have been a bad H, but I was not ready.

What should you do? Focus on yourself to make yourself a more desirable partner. If she were my daughter I would fly her to a different country to keep her away from a 28 year old. You may be young for your age, but you have a lot of growing up to do. I don't want to be harsh, but you are almost 30, this girl is still a child. Her parents are right. You need to stop drinking too, if that is why you lost your license.

You need IC and take the focus off the girl and put it on yourself. If you become a good catch, she'll notice. She won't be 19 forever.

Again, I am sorry to be harsh, but you need to hear the truth, I am worried that you may become obsessed with this girl. Let her go. If she loves you she'll be back. If you smother her with attention, you will loose her forever. I am sorry if I am being tough with you. Cut off all contact, go cold turkey and work on you first. You can't miss what you don't see.

Thank you for you reply and I have to say I agree with you.

Thank you for you reply and I have to say I agree with you.

I see this from two perspectives. 1) I was 28 when I started dating my wife who was 21 and 2) I am a father now.

As far as the age, I dated women from 5 years old ( not counting EA's that went to 20 years older at 17) to 7 years younger ( my wife). To me age is not the factor.

The things that are a factor are your self image. You project this to her and her family. You say you lost your drivers license. I assume a DUI. Before you can hope to win her heart or any woman with self esteem, you must work on your self. Where is your life headed and who is your beacon? I suggest you start by seeking the Lord. During the years that I dated I became discouraged wondering when I would meet the right woman. Either I was rejected or I knew I had to reject someone, but I wanted to meet the right person.

I turned to the Bible. One verse that became my inspriation was " Worry about nothing, but in every thing by prayer and supplication (fasting) with thanksgving let your requests be made know unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

I would say to you "seek you first the kingdom fo heaven and all things will be added unto you."

Firstly, I'd like to thank you for your reply, I'm very happy for you that you've found the right woman you - you sound very happy.
To be honest the age difference isn't a problem for me either and I'm certain it isn't a problem for her either.
The loss of my driving licence along with the parent ban (plus her mum constantly telling her how bad I am) I think are both major contributors to the demise of our relationship.
Having said that tho we are still very good friends and the chemistry is still there, so maybe in the future there is hope, but not soon.
Your biblical quotes I like too. Though I have never sought aid from the house of the lord, I know from friends that it can be a great healing power.
All these posts are being reviewed by me daily and really, many, many thanks for your replys to me. I'm slowly crawling out of the pit........