I have been married for four yrs (w/ him for 7 yrs) we have 2 daughters (ages 2 and 4). First of all, we rarely speak about anything. The momst conversation we have is usually a fight as a result of his being at the bar or out with his friends all of the time. We both work full time - although (and I am not exaggerating) he does nothing once he comes home. IF he stays home he plays on the net - otherwise he is out or as I like to say M.I.A. I have done everything for our children since they were born. He has probably changed(at the most) 10 diapers - and he behaves like they are not there half of the time. As far as my personal life - there isn't one. The last time I went out with a girl friend was 5/2001 and he treated me terrible for 3 months because he swore i cheated on him (I didn;t) I have asked that we go to marriage counseling and he flat out refused - he said we have no problems. And the thing is - he shouldn't have a problem/ he does what he wants when he wants with who he wants. In fact he has all the freedom of a single man - with the convenience of a family / wife at home. He seems to have a separate life that he will not talk about. If I ask how his night was and try to get him to talk about it - he flips out and says I am being a nag and to think what I want - sometimes he goes as far as saying "go ahead sherlock, tell me what I did tonight! I hate to think of bein g divorced, but at the same time - I do not want my girls to grow up thinking this is the way it should be. What options fo I even have at this point - because I always feel gui;ty thinkking about divorce, like I havent tried everything!!! HELP!

I want to give you some hope today. Your H is very self-centered and you deserve better. Please get yourself some outside help, even if he wants no part of it. Get some counseling, preferably from a Christian perspective. Are you a Christian? Jesus will wrap His loving arms around you if you allow Him to come in. Get involved with activities outside of the home - hobbies, volunteer work, exercise, etc. Many of these places have child care. You need some time for yourself. Are your extended families any help to you? If so, open up to them and use them for support. You are very precious and so are your girls. God bless you!