My finance is 14 years older then me. Him and I were in a relationship 3 years ago, were engaged then but things didn't work out at that time. Well here we are 3 years later engaged again. Well there is this lingering issue that makes him want to run in the other direction and he is like a watch dog looking for it. Back when we were in the first relationship we loved each other very much, but he was always worried that on day I was going to grow out of him, in the sense that as I grow up and mature my feelings about him would change. I have tried to convince him that that will not happen. I thought that he would see things differently since it has been 2 years now since we broke up and I still love him as much as I did back then. I mean, I think that sort of back ups my theory that I will not grow out of him. But he brings this up everytime I try and talk to him about something that may be a little touchy. Today we were talking about some things from the past and I was trying to tell him how I see them differently now. I was really afraid to bring it up because I knew eventually he would take it back to the age issue. Sure enough, he said "I knew back then that one day you would see things differently. Maybe your seeing that this isn't whats right for you." Then I went through this long spill..."No I love, I want to be with you. That is not what I am saying at all. I wish you wouldn't take things that way....and on and on." But I have had to reassure him about his over and over...I mean 3 year now. I am scared that one day he is just going to let that fear get the best of him. I don't want that to happen but I also don't want to have to walk on my tip toes around subjects that I might be afraid that he could take there. I wish there was some way I could give him some security about this...any suggestions?

first of all...How old are you? That may shed some light on why it is he feeling the way he is. I personally am 35 and at one point I dated someone 11 years older than myself. although we got along just fine we weren't totally in sync about alot of things which made me see that things weren't really going to work between us. He always made me feel like I didnt know what I was talking about although I went through more things in life than he. He totally dismissed my conversations and feelings. I knew it wasnt going to work and moved on.

first of all...How old are you? That may shed some light on why it is he feeling the way he is. I personally am 35 and at one point I dated someone 11 years older than myself. although we got along just fine we weren't totally in sync about alot of things which made me see that things weren't really going to work between us. He always made me feel like I didnt know what I was talking about although I went through more things in life than he. He totally dismissed my conversations and feelings. I knew it wasnt going to work and moved on.