My wife and I have been married three years and have been together for seven. Recently, she told me that she's not sure she's in love any more and that she doesn't think she wants to be married anymore. She tells me that she's been feeling this way for a while. My job requires me to travel quite a bit, and so she claims that while I've been gone, she has started to build a life of her own. She has started a successful career - acting - which I encouraged whole-heartedly. She has also started to go out quite a bit on her own, with younger ladies (my wife is 29 and most of her new friends are around 21.) I've never had a problem with her going out and having fun, but now it's turning into a "grass is greener" situation. She is becoming influenced by the actions of her younger, unattached friends, as well as the whole Hollywood life style. She told me that she feels that with me being gone so much, she felt lonely, and that's why she built this world outside of me. I told her I would make changes in my work schedule, allow more time for us, but she tends to be so negative. She just thinks that it may be too late. It came to a head when she told me a month ago that she needed time apart. Her therapist agreed. As much as I hate the idea, I've been very accommodating, allowing her the space she claims she needs. We've spoken sparingly in the month since she's left, but reports are that she is living it up. She's removed her wedding ring and partying it up, (although I hear that she has not done anything "regrettable" yet.) Her sister tells me that although she is partying, she still spends most of her day depressed. When I met her, she was still living at home and taking care of her mother. Now she says she feels like she missed out. I am at my wits’ end and am not sure how much longer I can take this. Her sister and my friends say to be just a little more patient and she should come out of this phase. The cave man in me wants to just grab and her bring her home, but I can't do that as it would only push her away. I love my wife more than anything in the world and don't want to lose her. Does anyone have any insight for me?

Oud: Sorry that you are here but lets see what you and I can assess together. You stated that your wife has left? Is she geograpgically close to you or does this mean she has left your relationship? I would add that your travelling has likely cause her to be lonely and attention seeking. Not that she is attention-seeking in the negative way, she is looking for some interest. I would suggest that you try to see her regularly if she will agree. I would think about those things you did early in your relationship that was special to her. Did you send her cards, flowers, dinners out, movies? What did you two do together that made your relationship sizzle and grow? Have you been doing these things lately? I found that when my husband felt that he had won me he no longer tried to date me. I was a done deal to him. But to me, he was now boring and uninteresting. You had mentioned that your wife was living at home before you two got together. Does your money allow this new lifestlye for her? If yes, then she may have a false reality of what it takes to live on her salary alone. Starving actress...etc. She sounds as if she is romancing the idea of the starlet lifestlye. Hollywood and all. I would not give up on your marriage. You seem interested in preserving it. I would try to talk with your wife about other things that can be going on in the relationship. Many times, we can neglect the relationship and then over time leaving it is easy. The other person hasn't contributed as much or isn't present. Think about how things have been over the 3 yrs. Then ask yourself this question" If I was married to ME, would I be happy with how ME treats ME". Peace