I am having problems with my marriage and we have only been legally married since July-we had the wedding in Dec. My husband and I are very different. We have, of course, known this for the past year and a half that we have been together, but I guess we thought that our love was strong enough to get through any problems. I was pregnant at the time of the wedding, but have since had a miscarriage. Ever since the miscarriage our love has diminished. We don;t mak elove like we used to, he drinks too much (and always has), and I am beginning to think that I don't even like him anymore. He can be mean, he isn't responsible for our finances or for his son that lives a few states away, and he is generally dishonest and cold.

I don;t know what to do. I don't want to be divorced-especially so soon- but I don't know if our relationship is worth this much frustration and pain-for either of us!

Any advice or perspective would be greatly appreciated.

Did you know you were pregnant before you decided to get married? IOW, did you get married BECAUSE you were pregnant?

You did once love each other, so it IS possible to get that love back and build a successful marriage. But, you also married very early in the relationship and possibly for the wrong reasons. I'm not one to throw divorce as an option into the mix, but....

Before you make any decisions, try using the MB concepts to rebuild the love in your relationship. Find out WHY he is drinking more and WHY sex has become an issue. Try to resolve those issues together.

Take care,
Smile

Smile,
When we got married I was not pregnant, but he was joining the Army and we wanted to be together when he left. He later decided not to join. I almost called off the WEDDING a couple of times, butonce I found out I was pregnent it seemed pointless -- especially since we were already legally married. I still have some regrets that our families and friends spent so much money on our wedding when I think I knew that it would not work, but once I was pregnant I thought that we would be able to make it work for the baby's sake and once he accepted that we were pregnant (and I wasn't having and abportion) he seemed focused on making things work and growing up as well.

I think that since we lost the baby he has thought that life can go back to the way it was and he can party the same way as well. He sees it as an excuse NOT to grow up.

Thanks for your reply.

Matti