Hi Everyone,
I need some major advice. I have been w/ my boyfriend for 6 years. We both have different religions, but neither of us are very religious. His parents on the other hand are very religious and think that a marriage is based on religion and culture. For the past 6 months they have been trying to get him to break up w/ me.(they have always been against our relationship) Currently, they are making him choose between me and his parents. They are giving him a major guilt trip. They want nothing to do w/ me or my family. It makes me so angry that they are so closed minded and that they can't see past our differences. Overall we have a good relationship, but he does lack communication skills (although, he has improved over the past 6 years). What should I do? If we get married, my relationship with his parents will never be the same. My boyfriend is the type of person that wants to please everyone. I am afraid his parent's controlling behavior is going to affect him in the future. Should we break up?

Any insight from someone who is married w/ horrible in-laws would be much appreciated!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am afraid his parent's controlling behavior is going to affect him in the future. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are right that this will have an effect on him in both the near and distant future. It will have an effect on you and your marriage. It will have an effect on your children. It will affect your holidays and other celebrations.
It will be an ongoing challenge.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Should we break up?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You should try to reconcile with his parents before you marry. You should let your boyfriend and his parents know how important family is to you and really work on that relationship. If his parents do not show respect for your attempts and things continue to be rocky, you should reconsider your decision to marry this man as his family will be your family. If the thought of losing you does not act as a catalyst for your boyfriend to stand up to his parents, he'll probably never stand up for you.

Shutting his parents out of your lives is a dangerous route. Be careful. That is HIS decision. If you help make that decision, he will likely resent you in the future. Then again, shutting them out might just wake them up. Do they really want to lose their loving son?

Take care,
Smile