Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1 |
My husband and I got married in December 2003. We had never made love before but had been intimate. I switched birth controls in early october to the patch...Closer to our marriage date, my now husband noticed a significant drop in our intimacy. When I thought about it, I realized I had very little libedo and thought it was probably because of wedding stress. On our honeymoon we weren't able to make love. It hurt terribly and he wasn't able to go through with it with me crying. Anyway, it is now almost June and we have never concecrated our marrige. We have tried a few times, but I'm so scared of it hurting, and that compounded with the very lack of desire has started to tear us apart., I don't know what to do. I have never had any kind of sexual abuse of any kind.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,151
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,151 |
Hi Angel...welcome to Marriage Builders. What does your doctor say about the pain during attempted intercourse?
My sister had a similar problem after the birth of her first child. She went to her doctor and described the pain and he was able to fix her up (I do not know what was causing the pain nor what fixed it). I understand that you haven't had a child, yet, but still, I'm sure your doctor can help. It may be as simple as using the proper lubrication. It may also be as simple as having painful sex a few times before you loosen up. You might just be so tense that you are causing the pain by not relaxing.
Take care...get to your doctor!
Smile
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 106
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 106 |
Hi Angel,
Don't know what you've tried so far but Dr. Ed Wheat has a book on sexual rlations that addresses the same issues you are going through. The name of the book is Intended For Pleasure. Sometimes it can be painful enough that there are proceedures you have to go through before the vagina opens up enough to allow for intercourse.
If your H was considerate enough to stop because it hurt, then surely he'll be willing to help you through the process to get it to where you two will be able to make love.
Hope the book helps.
Also, when I was considering using the patch, I read a lot on it and found that in spite of the fact that it was more convenient than pills or condoms, it can cause a lot of bad side effects. Lowered libido was one of them.
Hope this helps.
jnb
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1 |
Dear Angel,
I had the same problem and it took me at least 6 months to get used to my husband. Even after it stopped hurt, I didn't like sex, I only did it for my husband. 3 years later... I love sex, but my husband lost interest in me. He is still afraid he would cause me pain. Even if he knows that he wouldn't, it is still in his mind. We never had passionate sex (unfortunately). Now we are trying to pick it up, but I'm afraid it might be too late. My advice to you - buy a vibrator, it will REALLY relax you. Practice alone, or with your husband together. It feels good, it's fun and it will help you. Good luck!
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
273
guests, and
28
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,659
Posts2,323,613
Members72,372
| |
Most Online9,682
May 13th, 2026
|
|
|
|
|
|
