My bf and I have been dating for about 2 1/2 yrs. and living together for 1 1/2. We built a house together in Sept. last year. About four months ago I cheated with a co-worker but it meant nothing, it was just a physical attraction that went too far. Pregnancy occured soon after and the paternity was questionable. I originally chose to continue the pregnancy no matter what but when the thought of losing my then fiance I couldn't go through with it. I asked if I had an abortion if he would stay with me and we would work on our relationship and he said yes. About two weeks after the abortion he told me he was questioning our relationship. He says he is perfectly happy with our day to day relationship but when he thinks about the future he doesn't know if he wants to marry me. He says if he isn't sure about marriage he doesn't know if we should continue the relationship. The weird thing is that since all of this happened we have become a lot closer and get along great. He says he has forgiven me and truly believe that it wouldn't happen again and that I make him so happy but he doesn't know if he can ever quit thinking about what happened. He also told his parents the whole thing. Now they are trying to convince him that we shouldn't be together. We have been in counseling for about a month but I can't tell if it is helping yet, maybe too early? Is this relationship salvagable? We still love eachother very much and get along so well, he is just hurt. We have been back and forth for about two months now, I pull away and he comes closer. What should I do?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">About four months ago I cheated with a co-worker but it meant nothing, it was just a physical attraction that went too far.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As long as you believe that it meant "nothing", I'd discourage your fiance from continuing in this relationship, too. What you did to yourself, your fiance, and your relationship will live with you for the rest of your lives. Trust and respect do not just magically reappear after such an event. Your fiance loves you and may have convinced himself that he could honestly forgive you, but I wouldn't suggest he marries someone that he doesn't trust and truly respect.
It takes a lot longer than 4 months to recreate trust and respect after cheating has occurred. I don't want to make assumptions (there is a lot of information missing from your post that I would need to really give any advice), but if you are currently putting any pressure on him to marry you despite your mistake, please stop. You may be able to convince him to marry you, but that won't create a healthy marriage at all.

Good luck,
Smile