I too have caught my husband looking at porno MANY times. But in my case it was not just an innocent viewing.
You See, my husband does this ALL the time. I feel he has a problem with it! Our sex life is almost non-exsistent (he says due to him being partially impotent), we have sex maybe once every 6 or 8 weeks (if I am lucky). Yet he can find it possible to masterbate while looking at porno at least 3 or 4 times a week. We have argued and argued about it for years now. We have been married for 2 years now but have been together for 6 years. I tell him that I think if he stopped OR lessened how offen he did that, that I believe our sex life would then become better. He says it has nothing to do with it. I have also told him that it hurts me emotionally, that it makes me feel as if I am not good enough for him, or that he has cheated on me, yet he does not care.
He has promised to stop. He has promised and promised, they were just lies though. He never stopped and I don't believe he ever will.
I have threatened to leave him because of it and at that time he "promised" to change his habits, and made me believe he ment it, he cried and begged me not to leave him and of course I believed him because I love him so very much. This has happened more times then I can count. Yet he never changed. I did leave him one time and took our son and went out of state to my sisters house to start fresh. The SAME night he showed up. He had no car, no money, and didnt even know where she lived, yet he found a way to find me and to get there. I thought this ment he TRUELY wanted "me". I once again believed him, every word he said. I told him that the porn had to go for good, all of it! I told him I needed more. I needed romance, hugging, kissing, foreplay, and SEX at least 2 times a week. He agreed, he cried and begged. He said he knew he had a problem with the porn and he knew he needed to stop. He said he then understood why I felt the way I did. He said he knew "HE" had to change. He said he would do what ever he needed to as long as I came Home. I believed every word of it!
Within one week of being home, I found more porn on the computer, we still were not having sex, he still didnt want to come near me. NOTHING changed. I asked him why he wanted me with him if he just wanted porn. He said because he loved me and wanted to spend his life with me. I asked him if he found me sexually attractive and he said yes, VERY much, that I was beautiful and he didnt want another woman ever. But he wouldnt stop Looking at porno. He thought I was just trying to control him yet I was not!
Does anyone have any Ideas?
Yet I am still with him. I love him and keep hoping he will one day do as he says he will. He tells me I am nuts and need help because me feeling jealous and emotionally hurt over him looking at pictures of women he dont know shouldnt do that to me. He Thinks "I" am sick, not him.
All I can say and all I know is that this seems to be "an addiction"! I dont think anything I say or do will ever change that! I love him dearly but I am at my wits end. I am truely thinking of leaving him and NOT believing his LIES when he tries to get me to come back. That seems to be "MY" only solution!
Does anyone have any other ideas??
<small>[ October 09, 2004, 11:13 PM: Message edited by: Darlin' ]</small>
